BRAIN FOG PULPITIS.

Today, I got stumped during Oral Diagnosis.

I had this patient today. Let's call her SS Patient. She's actually one of my younger friends, but because she's a patient, and I'm really big on patient confidentiality (or at least I should be), I won't say anything else that might compromise her identity. ANYWAY, I got stumped during Oral Diagnosis. I'm not proud of it, but for the sake of documenting my growth as a diagnostician, let's just talk about it.

You know how tiny cavities turn into big cavities, and cavities turn into crazy lesions from the underworld? Well, that's what happened. She had a big carious lesion that somehow exhibited what I could, in the most ditzy terms, describe as a pink circle thingy that looks like it came out of nowhere, but held on to the remaining tooth structure for dear life. The simplest phrasing of the diagnosis was pulp polyp, but that wasn't the diagnosis that the clinical instructor was looking for. 

I knew that I learned about that lesion in Oral Pathology, and I remember seeing it before in a pediatric patient some three(?) years ago, but today, I forgot what the lesion is called. The words hyperplastic, chronic, and pulp were floating in my head, but I couldn't really piece them together. I even asked my senior to help me, but not even he could fix my brain fog. My brain frog was so bad that I even blurted out "granuloma" -- which is complete garbage because granulomas are periapical.

My clinical instructor was even like, "I'm surprised that you can't identify it, since you're graduating." --of course, I don't resent her for it, because it's TRUE. I should have been able to diagnose it properly within seconds (okay fine, maybe a minute) of seeing it. I shouldn't have had to flip open an Oral Pathology book while my patient was seated on my dental chair. I should have been better today. 

truth!

CHRONIC HYPERPLASTIC PULPITIS. I think this would actually stick, because I think I would end up associating Chronic Hyperplastic Pulpitis with "I need to be better"-sentiments. Hmm. 

One of my "resolutions" for this school year is to read more, even when I don't really need to. Unfortunately, I haven't been being able to realize it, because, let's just admit it, I have no willpower, and I lack follow-through. Considering what my lack of diagnostic skills put me through today, I think it's enough motivation to get back on track from my derailed ways.

It's been a little bit less than three weeks since the semester started, and I'm trying my best to own up to the expectations of being in legit final year. During my non-legit final years (no, this is not my first time being in "fourth year"), the pressure wasn't like this. I used to just be contented with not knowing because I somewhat believed that I could "learn it later". Now, it feels like there's no "later", because this really is the final year. I don't know. I'm rambling.

I'm still in the process of finding the right balance between not settling for mediocrity and not being afraid of making mistakes. Mistakes are part of the learning process, but I should minimize my errors. I just want to be happy learner, that's all. I feel that I'd cause my own deterioration the moment that my academic endeavors stop coming from a place of love and happiness. 

My goodness, can I do this gracefully?

Corine Magenta