Yo, "THE ONE".

I've always believed that you exist.

I don't know where you've been all this time, but I know you have got to be somewhere. I've never really held solid evidence of that, but I think I just knew, deep in my heart. I know that I'm okay as a single unit, but I also know that I could be stellar, if part of something a little bit more special than an island. I know that I'm meant to be part of something significant, and that when I do become part of something significant, it would be amazing. I know this, I know that, and you know what-- I'm actually sure. The only problem is, for someone so sure, there's one piece of vital information that I do not know of, let alone, am sure of-- I have no idea who you are.



Ang laki-laki ng mundo. Mahahanap mo pa kaya ako?
The world is so big. Could you possibly even find me?

MAKE ME UP (before I lose my mind).

It's been three days short of a month since the semester started (my oh my, where did the time go?), and since then, I haven't been feeling much like myself. I've been so sleepy, so hungry, and so tired. I've been sleeping a good number of hours, I've been eating well, and I've been getting what I believe is enough rest; but it's like there's this inner tiredness that's just eating me up.

I've been feeling rather bitchy. Oh bitchy. What an ugly, yet so vague, word. If I'm going to trash-talk anyone, including myself, in what let alone is my own space, I think I can afford to be actually act like an educated person by actually being descriptive. Okay, here's the thing-- I've been feeling vile, unpleasant and downright mean.

My emotions have been so unstable, that just last week, I cried while Dr. San Luis was asking me about one of my cases. I also happened to be extra moody when Justin, the Clinicians' Club President, tried to cheer me up when I was frustrated that a patient couldn't make it. Even my Clinic I chairmate had to suffer my meanness after I scolded her because of monitor duties. SERIOUSLY, the stressed-out me isn't a person I necessarily like. I somewhat feel like I'm getting eaten up by a terrible hormone-monster, and that if I don't feed myself with mega-doses of love an happiness, I would just crumble from the inside.

I know that this is a very lame attempt at "cheering myself up", but tonight, I decided to a little bit of pampering. I haven't been doing a lot of fun things lately, so I guess this is a good start to my "regaining" my sense of self (so deep).

New make-up!

I've been all about the department store brands (some people call them drugstore brands) lately. My favorites being L'Oreal and Maybelline. I know I don't really talk about the department store brands so much, but I love them as much as the next guy girl. While yes, there will be hits and misses, we can talk about them some other day.

I ran out of my Maybelline Super BB Cream just a few days ago, so I decided to try the L'Oreal True Match BB Cream today. I was rather iffy about it because it only comes in one shade. Seriously, one shade! I'm your typical Southeast Asian with typical Southeast Asian skin, so you could really understand why this worried me a bit. Of course, I tried it on, and while it did turn out well, I've yet to actually perform a road test. 

I also bought myself a really interesting brow kit, Fashion Brow from Maybelline. It has three pans-- one wax, and two powders. Apparently it's a brow and nose palette. Hmm. Interesting.

I also got myself a pot of Maybelline Eye Studio Color Tattoo 24HR in the shade Inked in Pink. I know that I have too many eyeshadows, and too many eyeshadow palettes, but I like to believe that this one's special. I want something that I can wear to school without looking or feeling too made-up. I've gone to school in full-on eyeshadow in the past, and it wasn't exactly pleasant. I want something quick, light, but rather pronounced. Oh you know what, I was actually initially eyeing a MAC Paint Pot, but um. No thanks.:)

I tried on a few eyeliners. All Maybelline or L'Oreal. While I happened to really like them, I somehow managed to stop myself, as I'm only halfway through my current one, and I have another pen eyeliner as backup. The same goes for mascara-- all from my mini-haul in Hong Kong a few months ago. Maybelline and L'Oreal have been stepping up their games, I feel. I think I could even come up with a list of the things I want to try. 

What I won't be trying, however is the Maybelline brow powder in the pen packaging. I tried it on, and it honestly looked and felt like dirt. Well you know, like I said earlier-- hits and misses, hits and misses. 

Oh, guess what-- I also had my eyebrows threaded! I'm simply unskilled with the razor, I'm too much of a wuss to do the job myself with tweezers, and eyebrow waxing scared the hell out of me, so yes, ultimately, brow threading is my way to go.

Really pathetic brow situration :(

I'm not blessed at all with nice brows, but I like to think that I'm doing the best I could.

Oh wait, I just had an epiphany--

I'm not blessed with multitasking skills, but I like to think that I'm doing the best I could.

Okay, I feel better now.:)

Corine Magenta

COFFEE THOUGHTS.

Last week, one of my newest clinician baby sisters, Tricia, very randomly asked me, "Ate, mahilig ka mag-coffee, no?" -- I can't find a 100% direct way to translate this to English for all of you, but it's pretty much like, "(Older female honorific), you like taking coffee, don't you?". She said that she somewhat deduced it after seeing it "somewhere", with "somewhere", possibly being Instagram-- which totally makes all the sense in the world, because my Instagram blurb is "CAFE y MAQUILLAJE", which is Spanish for "coffee and make-up". Yes.

I've had a rather complicated relationship over the past few years. When I was 17 (first year of AAPD), I was in love with coffee; then from when I was about 18.5 about 21, I was going through body image issues, and my habits pretty much put coffee out of rotation. When I was 22, I went through mental health issues wherein I had to take anti-depressants over a period of time, and coffee would have interacted with the medication I was taking-- but it's not like I needed coffee to stay awake anyway, I had my insecurities and death thoughts to help me with that. By the way, that phase has passed, can you believe it? Hooray!:)

I know I really shouldn't be taking so much coffee, because no matter how hard I try to deny it, I still have thyroid disease hanging over my head. Don't worry, I'm not a coffee addict. I'm just an Asian of the Hispanic ancestry type, coffee love just comes naturally.<3

Coffee from a drip bag!
Prepared by the best maid ever.

I have a lot of things to do today, and I have a lot to prepare for the coming week. I'm going to try to spend as little time as possible inside the clinical infirmary to spend more time studying for, and working on my case discussions, simply because I want to just get all the case discussions out of the way, and start all my cases simultaneously, or at least, within days of each other. I feel so thrown off-schedule, in a clinician sense, but I kind of have to remind myself that I purposely but myself on a relatively tighter schedule out of this little thing called paranoia. Everything's going to be fine, I try to remind myself.:)

It feels like I haven't talked to you, my beloved readers (yes, all three of you, hahaha), in ages. Last week was just really difficult. My friend died, school was tough, you know.. Usual stuff. No wait, I take that back. There's nothing usual about having a friend having passed at 26. I'm trying to let it out, but at the same time, I'm trying to catch up with the carousel that will keep turning. I really want to handle my feelings like a mature person, and maybe one day, I'll have enough courage to actually acknowledge my feelings. I know you'll be around for me when that happens, and you know what-- that means the world to me.

I love you, readers. More than you know.:)


Corine Magenta

PS. Do I have a University of North Carolina reader here? I think I do, but as I'm only basing from statistics, I'm not really sure. Please please please, introduce yourself.:) I wanna give you a virtual hug!:)

BRAIN FOG PULPITIS.

Today, I got stumped during Oral Diagnosis.

I had this patient today. Let's call her SS Patient. She's actually one of my younger friends, but because she's a patient, and I'm really big on patient confidentiality (or at least I should be), I won't say anything else that might compromise her identity. ANYWAY, I got stumped during Oral Diagnosis. I'm not proud of it, but for the sake of documenting my growth as a diagnostician, let's just talk about it.

You know how tiny cavities turn into big cavities, and cavities turn into crazy lesions from the underworld? Well, that's what happened. She had a big carious lesion that somehow exhibited what I could, in the most ditzy terms, describe as a pink circle thingy that looks like it came out of nowhere, but held on to the remaining tooth structure for dear life. The simplest phrasing of the diagnosis was pulp polyp, but that wasn't the diagnosis that the clinical instructor was looking for. 

I knew that I learned about that lesion in Oral Pathology, and I remember seeing it before in a pediatric patient some three(?) years ago, but today, I forgot what the lesion is called. The words hyperplastic, chronic, and pulp were floating in my head, but I couldn't really piece them together. I even asked my senior to help me, but not even he could fix my brain fog. My brain frog was so bad that I even blurted out "granuloma" -- which is complete garbage because granulomas are periapical.

My clinical instructor was even like, "I'm surprised that you can't identify it, since you're graduating." --of course, I don't resent her for it, because it's TRUE. I should have been able to diagnose it properly within seconds (okay fine, maybe a minute) of seeing it. I shouldn't have had to flip open an Oral Pathology book while my patient was seated on my dental chair. I should have been better today. 

truth!

CHRONIC HYPERPLASTIC PULPITIS. I think this would actually stick, because I think I would end up associating Chronic Hyperplastic Pulpitis with "I need to be better"-sentiments. Hmm. 

One of my "resolutions" for this school year is to read more, even when I don't really need to. Unfortunately, I haven't been being able to realize it, because, let's just admit it, I have no willpower, and I lack follow-through. Considering what my lack of diagnostic skills put me through today, I think it's enough motivation to get back on track from my derailed ways.

It's been a little bit less than three weeks since the semester started, and I'm trying my best to own up to the expectations of being in legit final year. During my non-legit final years (no, this is not my first time being in "fourth year"), the pressure wasn't like this. I used to just be contented with not knowing because I somewhat believed that I could "learn it later". Now, it feels like there's no "later", because this really is the final year. I don't know. I'm rambling.

I'm still in the process of finding the right balance between not settling for mediocrity and not being afraid of making mistakes. Mistakes are part of the learning process, but I should minimize my errors. I just want to be happy learner, that's all. I feel that I'd cause my own deterioration the moment that my academic endeavors stop coming from a place of love and happiness. 

My goodness, can I do this gracefully?

Corine Magenta

Growing up together + Cantonese music + disorganization + make-up game + JOLLIBEE BINGE

I'm starting to feel that my blogs are starting to become frustratingly difficult to relate to, nowadays. What ever happened to the Corine Magenta who loves lipstick? Hmm. I still love lipstick and all them beauty things, but I don't know, I'm at this stage (ooohhh, a stage) that's heavily characterized by a gradual shift in priorities. I don't know, I feel calibrated to some extent. Maybe this is me finally growing up a little bit more. It is about time, after all.. Because I've finally realized how old I am. It's okay though, because at least we all get to grow up together. <3

Together is more fun anyway.

I've mentioned on previous posts that I've been adjusting to a new waking time, and yay, I've been being able to stick with it. Please, present perfect tense, because I'm just that optimistic!:) When I wake up in the morning, I give myself about 30 minutes to just roll in bed, just to process things. I drink a glass of water, I watch a few YouTube videos. I just give myself time to finish up my unproductivity, so that I could keep myself moving throughout the day. --but of course, the real magic happens when I step into the car, on the way to school.

I LISTEN TO CANTONESE MUSIC ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL.

I feel that Cantonese is my "productivity" language. Not in a sense that I'm more productive when I speak in Cantonese, because, well.. I can't speak Cantonese (yet! *wink*), but there's something about Cantonese that excites my blood cells, and makes me want to be bright and awesome. Cantonese music makes me feel better about myself.

That's my current favorite song. The title in English is, No Power Is The Disaster. Again, I don't speak Cantonese, but I'm inclined to feeling that it's a motivating happy song. Yat Lok Yat Ceot (2013, my goodness!) is also a go-to song. It was the first Cantonese song I bought from the Apple Music store, and it will always have a special place in my heart.

Another thing is that I'm starting to really love mondays. I used to struggle with liking mondays, but now, it's pretty much my favorite day of the school week.. And I'm not just saying that because mondays (and only mondays) are when Surgery Dad, who's really generous with compliments, is on duty at clinics. I don't know. It's just an extra dose of motivation, having a clinical instructor who makes you feel like a superstar-- it makes you extra eager to strive harder, just to get a bit closer to mastery.

I'm normally a very disorganized person, but I've been trying my best to up the organization by actually keeping and updating my agenda. My old strategy was to plan for the entire week-- that was until I realized that when one plan doesn't push through, I get dragged down so easily, that the succeeding days don't have a positive entrance. Now, I only plan for two days, and when that's done, I plan again. So basically, what I'm trying to say is that it's monday today, but I have absolutely no idea what in the world I'll be doing on wednesday.

Let me reiterate that I'm a very disorganized person, but I think that I could bump up the organization by just bringing the bare necessities in my bag. I still have a long way to go, but I think that even just trying to get organized is a step towards the right direction.

My so-called make-up game has somewhat stabilized. Unfortunately, there isn't much to it aside from some sort of foundation (today, it was just BB cream), eyeliner, mascara, eyebrow powder and lipstick. I miss having the luxury of time and energy to actually doll up.:(

blurry photo-- the car was moving

If I had it my way, I'd have time to do a little bit of highlighting and contouring, which are actually two of the most fun things to do in my entire make-up ritual, but oh well. Maybe when I have everything in order, I'll be able to do that, but for now.. No. :(

Ohhh, I went on a Jollibee binge today. The maid's sick at the moment, so I wasn't able to get my "nutritious food" fix today, and probably won't be able to, for two more days. What I had at school was absolute junk, and what I had after was even more junk-- but hey, it was Jollibee, so it was worth it.

Adobo flakes yum burger

Ooookay.. Jollibee is like the Filipino fast food chain. Currently they sell these limited edition adobo flakes yum burgers, in line with Philippine Independence Day (last month, hehe). Adobo is the unofficial national dish of the Philippines, and it's basically meat marinated in soy sauce, vinegar, and garlic, and then cooked with peppercorns, bay leaves, and even more garlic. Up until recently, I never imagined adobo in a burger. 

yummy

The burger was.. Interesting. It was yummy, but there was part of me that just couldn't wrap my head around the idea of adobo in a burger. Adobo's usually taken with rice. It was good, but it's not the type of burger I'd want to have every day for the rest of my fast-food eating life (McDonald's cheeseburger, I'm looking at you). The burger was really saucy. I have to be honest-- the adobo inside the burger was definitely not the adobo I'm used to. Then again, adobo can be made in a multitude of ways, depending on the region, so maybe I just have to figure out what provincial style the Jollibee adobo was made in. Oh.. Yes, you should try it.

Hmm.. It was really nice catching up with you, here on the blog.:)

PLEASE SEND ME LOVE.

Corine Magenta

Fruit :)

I went on a mini fruit haul today!

fruit haul

I've been reflecting on my food choices lately, and I've come to realize that I haven't been eating things that are necessarily healthful. I've been eating hell of a lot of rice, which is good, but when it comes to viands, I've been filling myself up with meat, and regrettably, a lot of it has been processed. I've also been eating a lot of sodium-rich junk food, which I'm sure is responsible for my crazy bloating. I haven't been eating the best food lately, and it really sucks.

I've been so tired all the time, and my skin hasn't been at its best, so I figured that it must be what I've been eating, because truth be told, neither my sleeping habits nor my skin care routine have been altered. While sure, it's the time of the month, and hormones are going crazy, but I've never had a period that has made me this tired, or this ugly. I just don't feel my best, that's all. And I blame all the junk food.

Now, I'm really not a fruit person. I'm not a sweets person either. Given a choice, I'd much rather have grilled eggplant or something over apples or oranges. If this weren't a skin thing, I probably would have gone to the vegetable section of the supermarket instead. I'm just not the type to be "in love" with fruit unless it's dragonfruit or coconuts. I tried juicing for a while, but it didn't really hold up. It was just fun forcing fruits down the receiving tube, but that was just about it.

I never really realized how expensive fruit is. I know that I live in the Philippines, with natural resources and all, but please, I live in Metropolitan Manila, the capital. The closest "fruit source" here is about 45 minutes away, and they only have pineapples there. Before coming to Metropolitan Manila, fruits have to get loaded into big trucks, and hauled through highways, from provinces and provinces. When the fruits get here, they're not as fresh as they should be, and they're quite expensive. Either way, I lose.:(

Well anyway, I decided to buy them anyway.

I have an interesting relationship with soursops. In Filipino (Tagalog), and I'm guessing in Spanish as well, it's called guyabano. When I was younger, I really liked instant guyabano juice, but now that I've been able to eat the actual fruit, I'm not sure I like it very much.

It's not the first time I've attempted to eat guyabano. Probably about a year ago, I bought one from the supermarket, but I hated it, but only before realizing that I opened it up before it had ripened enough. Today, I made sure that mine was ripe. I didn't hate it, but let's just say that I finished half of it, and gave the rest to the maid. I remember my grandparents really liking guyabano when they were alive, and now that I think about it, I'm really starting to wonder why.

I would have gotten sugar apples (atis) instead, but the ones at the supermarket were pretty hard and unripe, so I passed, but it I had the chance, I would have gotten sugar apples instead.. because sugar apples are the best.

I came across a mutant orange today. I swear the internet has ruined me, because the first thing I thought of when I saw it wasn't exactly something you'd expect to think of when you see fruit. I don't know. Have I just been corrupted, or does it really look like something?

Tell me what you think it looks like. I dare you.

I don't like oranges. I hate how the skin is so thin, and whatever fruity goodness is inside is almost always sour. I prefer mandarin oranges-- little adorable sweet things, easy to peel, yo.

I had half a honeydew today, and a few longans, and well, they were good, nothing special. I was too full to have anything for dinner, and to be honest, I was too tired to eat anything else.:(

Errrrr... That's it?

Corine Magenta

STRESS.

This week hasn't exactly been the best. While I did have a great start by doing an odontectomy last Monday, the rest of the week has been physically and emotionally (but mostly physically) demanding. I shouldn't be stressing too much over it, because it is the time of the month, and pre-existing medical conditions pretty much send my hormone-associated symptoms on overdrive. I've just been really tired this week, and my oh my. My.

It's been starting to rain here and there. Philippine monsoons typically start in May or June, but this year, it's a little bit late. Considering the fact that it's pretty much wrecking our school schedules, I think we're still blessed as a nation, in general, because at least nothing too horrible has stricken (yet). When typhoons come, classes usually get suspended, and when that happens, school kids everywhere (except maybe dental clinicians) are happy when school gets cancelled, but now that I'm older, I think I've realized how wrong that kind of mentality is, especially when you think about old people who have to use public transportation in the pouring rain.

--and that's exactly why my patient didn't make it today.

Hmm.

School was cancelled at around 12:00NN. My original schedule involved performing intraoral photography on my Complete Denture patient, but since she couldn't make it, I decided to proceed to Plan B, which was actually doing research work. The Chief of Clinics pretty much stopped me, and told me to work on my non-patient procedures, which I happily obliged to.:) I realized that everything works out after all, and I couldn't be happier. I realized that I need to work more on my amalgam polishing skills. I polished three amalgam restorations today, and my clinical instructor only liked one. So yes, I do need to work harder!:)

While I have been able to accomplish most of my goals since the semester started, I'm still a bit sad that I haven't been able to accomplish them all. I know that there are some things that are beyond my control, such as inclement weather, and just yesterday, electric issues at school, but I don't know.. I'm under so much pressure, and whether or not that pressure is self-manufactured, I can't really tell anymore.

Electric issues at school.:(
--and yes, my parents were pretty upset when I told them about it.

This week has been generally stressful, but yesterday was the worst. I don't mean to rant, but the matriculation increased by Php10,000 (which is a lot by Philippine standard of living), and yet something like this happened. I won't even go into the fact that the ceiling was dripping today when it rained. Oh wait, I just did. I love my university, I love my teachers, I love all the things I'm learning-- but why won't the school love me back?:(

My feelings are pretty much on haywire because of my hormone issues, and at this point, it's really difficult to keep myself optimistic. The physical and emotional stress has just been tiring me out.

summary of all my feelings this week

I've been spending more time playing with our dogs this week. On a normal school week, I would have just said quick hellos and whatnot, but this week, I felt like I needed to really hug them as some form or de-stressing. Well, what can I say? Our dogs are amazing.<3

JJ and Me <3

I have a better photo with JJ on Instagram. I took this when I got home from my blacked-out university yesterday. I took a whole series of shots, and only a few of them turned out nicely because we both kept moving.:) Such a sweet dog, this JJ. 

We actually have two dogs, but the other one wasn't really in the mood to play yesterday, so he didn't get to take pictures with me and JJ by the pool.

Oh, I got new specs yesterday. I'm actually supposed to be a glasses-wearer, but with every pair of glasses, there'd always be something unsatisfactory about it.. Frames would break, or the lenses wouldn't work for me for very long. My last refraction was more than a year ago, and when the optometrist I went to yesterday checked me again, she noticed that the reading for my right eye was completely off from my previous prescription. It's okay though, because this new prescription is perfect.

Snoe and Me!

It took me a while to actually select which frame I wanted. I would have gone for a half-rimmed frame, but since my left lens was so thin, it wouldn't have been the best option for me, because then the lens would easily break-- and there's no way I'd be okay with breaking a multicoated lens. 

Oh, fun fact, by the way-- when I was starting to enrol for college at CEU, I chose Dentistry as my first choice program, and Optometry second, but that was almost completely random, I could have written Optometry first and Dentistry second. If I had gone into Optometry, I still would have been just as happy about it.. but of course, if I had gone into Optometry, I wouldn't be the same person. Believe me.

I'm just happy that this week has ended. I intend to rest really well this weekend.:)

MY FIRST ODONTECTOMY

I don't even know how I should start..

I'm not going to blind you with pictures of dead human body parts, and bloody this and that, because I'm pretty sure that nobody wants to see what I pulled out of someone's jaw today. The important thing is that I did an odontectomy, and I actually survived it even without make-up on. Hooray!

Meet Surgery Dad, and my lovely assistants!

I was really anxious about this case for months. The odontectomy just kept getting pushed.. and pushed.. and pushed, until it just happened. At the perfect time, it just happened.

I was supposed to carry out the procedure last March, but when the school calendar was adjusted, so was the surgery cut-off. I could have done it during the summer term, but since the Surgery Sis Clinical Instructor wasn't on duty that term, I decided to wait until the first semester started, so that I could do it under the CI whom I discussed the case with, and I also wanted her to "see what I can do". When the first semester rolled around, the Surgery Sis got a promotion because the original Surgery Dad left the institution, so she had to send me over to the new Surgery Dad to perform the case..and my oh my-- the new Surgery Dad is actually a fellow of the Philippine College of Oral and Maxillofacial Surgeons.. and please, PCOMS is my goal in life.

Yeah, that's basically the story of how a series of weird events paved the way to a day I'll remember for the rest of my life. Oh so dramatic. :)

I was really a mess last night. I was nervous beyond what words could describe. Of course, I couldn't tell anyone about it, because I didn't think that I'd be understood. I was cozying up with a copy of Contemporary Oral & Maxillofacial Surgery by Hupp, in an attempt to give myself some sort of a final coaching(?).

LAST NIGHT. The night before my odontectomy.

The first time I held a forcep the summer before I turned Clinic 1, I just knew that an Oral Surgeon is what I want to be. Last night, I was pretty much swallowed up by fear-- What if I do something wrong? What if the anesthesia doesn't work properly? What if I incise incorrectly? What if I don't elevate well enough? What if I break vital structures? What if Surgery Dad has to take over the case? -- Really, legit concerns. I was really scared.

I know that this sound really egotistical, but more than actually making mistakes intra-operatively, I was scared that I'd realize that Oral Surgery isn't for me after all, or that simple extractions are the only thing I can do properly. I'm normally very chill when it comes to school-related matters, sometimes even too chill for my own good, but I can honestly say that I've never known myself to be 100 shades of nervous for an Oral Surgery procedure.

Thankfully, I got some sleep last night.

I went materials-shopping last saturday in Manila, and I came across these disposable surgical gowns. I bought two, and decided to try one today.

I've never used this type of protective barrier. I only knew that it was used in the dental clinic set-up when I learned about it from my friends studying at NUS. Apparently, they can come to school in formal attire, and just put one of these things on, and attend to their patients. Cool, isn't it? I wish I had taken a picture of me wearing mine, because I felt really cute in it. It's not for everyone, though; not for every day, either. It was fun to try on, but that's about it.



At this point, I was wearing my uniform, my scrub suit on top of that, and the blue gown thing over it. Without the gown, I'd be wearing just the scrub top. We'll be switching to white coats soon, so you could stay tuned for that, yay!



The surgery went pretty well. I was still scared to death, but I tried my best not to show it. I had the perfect two assistants ever-- Kim (Clinic IV), and Felice (Clinic I). I was really impressed with Felice, because she had just entered the Clinical Division a week ago, but she was really enthusiastic about assisting on an odontectomy. She got the go signal from Surgery Dad, so everything was cool.:)

Oh, I wasn't the only doing an odontectomy this morning. On the chair beside mine, was Marvin (Kim's boyfriend <3), and his lovely assistant, Justin, with their patient, who is actually a co-clinician of ours. I won't say who, for the sake of patient confidentiality-- and at Perpetual, we're actually really big on patient confidentiality.

DA BOYZZZ

Now that I think about it, our odontectomy morning almost felt like a Guys vs. Girls thing. Hahaha! Our chairs were so close to each other that Justin and I bumped into each other a couple of times. It was really great having a so-called odontectomy seat mate, and it was extra great because it was Marvin. Our cases were similar, and we progressed almost at the same rate. Surgery Dad had to watch over two surgery kids, but he made sure that both cases were well-supervised.:)

I found performing the surgery a little physically-demanding. Some halfway through the surgery, I felt that my butt and my lower back were sore, almost as if I went trigger-happy at pilates. It could have just been the nerves, or the lack of proper sleeping hours, or even something as simple as bad posture. At least I've realized my mistakes now, I'll be able to correct them the next time I go in for another odontectomy.. One day..

Anyhooo.. I learned so much today. Skill-wise, of course, I could go on and on and on, but I guess one of the biggest take-aways from this entire odontectomy thingy is that it's okay to be afraid. I started out shaking and ten seconds away from peeing in my pants. Normally, make-up makes me brave, but for some extremely bizarre reason, I just didn't bother putting anything on, and only realized it when the surgery was done. 

I didn't have mascara, but I had Kim, who helped me to see the light at the end of the scary tunnel of performing a scary procedure for the very first time. I didn't have lipstick, but I had Felice, who gave much more meaning to the importance of speaking words of love, kindness, and encouragement. I thought that today would fall under my no makeup = horrible day general "Rule of Life", but no. Today was an exception. Today, I felt beautiful. Even more beautiful than whatever cosmetic could ever make me feel. Successfully completing an odontectomy played a huge part in it-- but my friends. Oh my friends. 

Corine Magenta.