EXCUSE #702: "I've Been Hurt Before".

Today (more like yesterday), I had a really interesting talk with one of my Dent sisters. Strangely enough, it was about relationships. You see, she's been going through something rough.. Her evil ex-boyfriend's been.. Eviling. What? Eviling isn't even a real word. Well, long story short, she's going through this self-blaming phase of a breakup. He's happy now, and she feels horrible about it.

Would you believe that I actually found myself lecturing her, as if I've had 10,000 years of relationship experience? Damn it. When I see a distressed female, I start talking like a grandmother.

Hmm. I'm not going to write about her heartbreak. I'll talk about my own.

On my last post, I wrote about #handsometaipeiguy and how I was too shy to do anything. Well, a quick update-- I actually managed to find him on Facebook (I had help!), but please don't get too excited, because.. Just because. Anyway, I had a few hours of self-assessment as to why I found myself in an extremely uncharacteristically shy state. The reason was really simple, but maybe I was just in denial at that time. I was scared, simply because I was hurt before.

In the summer of 2014, I met someone at a wedding. For simplicity's sake, let's call him Checkered Man. I first saw him outside the chapel, and because I couldn't really approach him or what, I prayed a little bit, and reassured myself that if I was meant to meet him, I will. Hours later, I was having a discussion with my very popular uncle, and it turns out, Checkered Man was part of his staff. So I met Checkered Man. It felt really perfect, almost serendipitous. So months passed. He had to move to New York to get his Master's Degree. Because I found him on Facebook early on, and I actually had his email address, I pretty much messaged him about three times a week or so. I'd tell him stories of this and that. I didn't always get replies, but I think at one point, he said that he found my emails entertaining, and that he couldn't reply, only because he couldn't find the time. Of course, I was fine with it.

Until one day, I got a text message from Checkered Man's sister. It was easily the worst text message I've ever gotten in my entire life. It started with "Hey Corine, my brother's girlfriend...", it contained the word "bothersome", and it ended with me in tears. I sent him an angry e-mail afterwards. I wasn't even sure if it was the mature thing to do, but in my head, I felt that I had to be honest-- I told him that I wish that he himself had informed me that he didn't want me to talk to him anymore, rather than having him tell his girlfriend to tell his sister to pretty much get rid of me. I never got a reply, and he blocked me on Facebook and Instagram. I was just angry for about a year and a half. It even drove me to crazytown each time I'd see him on my (new) Facebook account's People You May Know tab. REALLY. It was horrible.

Fast forward, 2016. I don't deal with males the same way anymore. I had one crush in April-- I slipped a note in his backpack before I left his country the next day. He was really nice when we chatted again on WhatsApp, and he told me that he was flattered, but he already had someone else in mind. He was really nice, though, and well.. I would always think of him as an awesome friend, no wait.. A bro, actually. :) ..but you know what, I wish Checkered Man gave me the same courtesy as my Singapore crush did. I guess there really are no valid generalizations when it comes to how men react.

..and now, SHY SHY SHY. Like I've said before, shyness is uncharacteristic of me, but I guess that once you've experienced something as horrible as what happened with Checkered Man, it changes you. Suddenly, you're no longer your spontaneously bold and brave self. You're cautious to a fault. You're afraid to say hi. You exaggerate every little thing. You overthink. Because you're scared. That's what happened to me. I'm not exactly sure how I'll act on attraction anymore because I've been burned pretty badly.

I'm not sure about anything anymore, and it's from one reason, and one reason only--
I've been hurt before. :(

Add caption

#handsometaipeiguy

Oh hey, long time no see. There's nothing new with me, I'm just having an existential crisis revolving around one central question--

Exactly how many chances can we get until we're done for good?

BACKSTORY. I attended the 2016 ACOMS here in Manila (because, well.. Surgery is life). I'm still in undergrad, but I got to ride the waves because I have two Clinical Instructors who are PCOMS Fellows. I could go on and on about all the things I've learned and all the insights I've gained, but there are just abstract things that could not be given justice by words alone. 

So, for now, please just let me be a girl, and allow me to tell you about my ACOMS crush. 

So there was this guy. I never learned his name, but I've referred to him as #handsometaipeiguy since last Thursday evening during the Fellowship Night. I remember wanting to talk to him multiple times, but I didn't know how to attack. I felt that I had the chance when I was at the cocktail table next to where he was. Apparently, a beer bottle fell, and I remember seeing him trying to clear away the glass shards. I really wanted to pull him away and tell him to let the maintenance staff take care of it because he might get wounded or something-- but I didn't. I was too shy. Heehee..

At one point, we were standing around three feet away from each other. I really wanted to get closer to him and introduce myself, as he had a student ID, and we both had our student statuses in common (but at that point, I was carrying a local delegate ID [which is the same ID as the one real dentists had]-- I later had this changed to a student ID, thinking that students wouldn't approach me because they'd think that I was a legit surgeon already). In my head, I had the perfect dialogue flow mapped out, I felt that all I had to do was wait. Minutes later, everybody between us started disappearing, I was in constant movement (dancing in place, haha), and all of a sudden, he was right there beside me. We very slightly bumped into each other, and as soon as it had sunken in, he started moving away.:( 

On the car ride home from the Fellowship Night, I told myself that when I'd see him the next day at the lecture halls, I'd take the seat behind him no matter what. Unfortunately, my no matter what didn't really push through. Hmm.. Come to think of it, I always did plan to sit beside him "no matter what", but obviously, it never happened, hahaha.

Yesterday was the last day of the congress, I remember being beside him again while exiting one of the halls to transfer to the next hall. I was just really stunned that I was beside my crush again! I would have faced him and smiled, but I was too busy planning our life together and naming our future children. Hahahahahahaha. 

I really wanted to see him after the Closing Ceremonies, so while the Taiwan delegation was taking photos, I was outside the hall with my very supportive future OMS Residency siblings, we were waiting for him to come out so that they could take pictures of me and him together-- and by together, I don't mean pictures like those "selfies" I took that "accidentally" had him in the background. I have such great love for my OMS ates, I had just met them two days prior, and they were already very supportive towards the advancement of my love life.. and that's exactly why I'm eyeing a one-way ticket to the 5th Floor at St. Jude. :) 

..and then I met Monica. I was with Dr. Diandra (OMS Ate!), and the very beautiful Monica came up to her, and then they started talking about beaches. At the shortest pause, I told her, "Your friend is very cute", and the rest was history.<3 During Taiwan Night, Monica wanted to introduce me to #handsometaipeiguy, but I was so shy, so I went to the bathroom first, to beautify. I didn't know what to do, so I whipped out my phone, and called the first sensible male I could find to give me advice-- it was my IDEM bro from Malaysia, Su Jiun. With the toilets as my witnesses I was like, "What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do?" the whole time. REALLY. It took me a loooong time to get my brain working, that by the time I was ready to face #handsometaipeiguy and introduce myself, the party was over, and everyone was gone.

..and just like that, I realized that I blew my last chance, and that I may never see #handsometaipeiguy ever again. :(

Okay, so now, I'm always gonna be wondering.. What if I had spoken to him? What if I had said hello? What if I had introduced myself? --all that, because I was too shy. People, learn from my mistake. It's not every day that you encounter a #handsometaipeiguy ..Unless you're in Taipei (?).

DEFINITIVE RANKING OF WHAT MY PATIENTS CALL ME.

Long time no blog is definitely an understatement, and calling it an understatement is an understatement in itself. Wait is it even possible to understate an understatement? Anyway, I wish I had a better excuse for not writing so much over the past few weeks. You'd think that since I'm a senior, I should be better at time management. Damn it.

Sunday nights are usually reserved for calling or SMS-ing patients just to check on them, and to possibly schedule them for the coming week. I nickname this little phase as patient ordering. I know the word ordering feels so off, considering that I use the same term when I try to order food. Yes, I try to order my patients on Sundays, follow up a day before I want them to come in, and panic thirty minutes before their actual schedules. It's my thing, yo.

One thing I've noticed when I order patients is that I get called a whole variety of different things-- from the very affectionate anak, to the confidence-boosting doctora, down to the sometimes-insulting neng. In dental school, we treat patients, thereby exercising duties of doctors, but at the same time, we're not doctors yet, so it's really natural for patients to be confused as to what they should call us. Anyway, here's a definitive ranking of what my patients call me.

No, don't worry, there's no psst here :)

1. DOCTORA (Single Complete, 2016).

Okay, I know, I know.. I know it's presumptuous and assuming to actually respond to "Doctora", and believe me, I used to beg my patients to not call me that. I only started embracing "Doctora" when my Single Complete Denture patient started calling me that after saying "Doon na rin naman papunta yun (that's where it's leading to anyway)". I realized something-- My patients call me Doctora, because they believe in me. My patients have high expectations of me, and each time I get called that is a challenge to deliver well, with the exact same quality that a legitimate Doctora should. 

Oh, by the way, Doctora (abbreviated as Dra.) is not a legitimate title in the Philippines. It's a title in Spanish, of which the Philippines used to be a colony of. Modern-day official documents will never have Dra. written on them. It might work if sentences were written in Filipino (ex. Si Dra. Corine ay ilusyonada), but it simply isn't an accepted title. The only reason why Doctora is in the vocabulary of the common Filipino is because it's a linguistic remnant from decades ago.

2. ANAK KO (Compre Perio, 2016).

Anak, in Filipino (and Bahasa Indonesia.. and Bahasa Melayu..), means child. It's really normal for older people to refer to youngsters as anak, but when patients add ko ("mine") at the end, as in anak ko, it's extra special.<3 

Then again, the whole anak and anak ko situation is probably no surprise since we tend to call our older patients Nanay or Tatay (mother/father, kind of like how Koreans call older people ahjumma or ahjussi). Oh wait, some patients, I call Tita or Tito (aunt/uncle)-- because frankly, I have too many nanay- and tatay-patients already. Hahaha.

3. GANDA (RPD + Compre Resto [plus her friends!], 2016).

Oh my Corine, I actually get referred to as "beautiful", would you believe that?!

Calling someone "ganda" is pretty much the equivalent of bella in "Ciao bella".

This started when my friend, Johanna, and I started accepting patients from the housekeeping staff at UPHSD. I don't really remember the actual specifics of how the lovely housekeeping ladies of the college rest room became our patients, but I remember exiting a lavatory stall, and my now-patient turned to her co-worker, and said, "Huy, andito si ganda o." (Hey, ganda's here).

Does being called ganda appeal to my vanity? Of course it does! When I get called ganda, I actually feel beautiful. I try to put a lid on my vanity, and not let it get in my head too much, but when somebody looks at you and sees a beautiful person, you can tell that they're looking at you the way God intended you to be looked at-- and when you keep that in mind, you just end up cheerful the whole day because.. Well, just because. :)

4. ATE (All patients who are younger than me, forever).

Ate means older sister, but in Filipino, it can be used to any older female. In Chinese, this is Ah Jie. The Bahasa version for this is Kakak, except that Kakak is more gender-neutral. The male version for Ate is Kuya. Ate is what I get most commonly referred to as a clinician, and this is pretty much the vocalization of how many patients are confused as to what to call their clinicians. Please. I have a patient who is a Maritime Engineering student who calls me Ate even though he's 12 years older than me-- you can't beat that, really! 

In one of the tea sessions during IDEM in Singapore, Dr. Ray Williams of UNC said that when he meets patients, he goes like, "I'm Ray", rather than "I'm Dr. Ray", and it's so that the patient would be more open to telling the clinician what the problem is. I've been called Ate for so long, but never really realized that my patients really are open to me, until I heard Dr. Williams mention it. Being called Ate diminishes the "I'm the (student)-doctor here, and you're the patient." barrier. If barrier-diminishing isn't enough, I'm guessing that patients are more secure and open when they can tell that they have an Ate who truly cares. <3

5. MA'AM (Complete Denture, 2016).

Hahahaha. Okay, one of the most awkward things a patient has ever called me would definitely be Ma'am, especially since the patient who calls me that is a lot older than me. Hahahaha! 

Well, I've had patients studying Criminology or Maritime Engineering who have called me that once or twice, but I never took it really seriously with them, because they're pretty much trained to call people Ma'am and Sir on a regular basis, because of the "ranky" nature of the programs they're in, and it's most especially if they're ROTC-affiliated students, so when Crim or MARE students call me Ma'am, I often just dismiss it as a slips of the tongue here and there. 

Ma'am makes me cringe. It makes me feel like a boss (okay, considering #girlboss, it might not be so bad..), or a teacher, or maybe.. A married woman, yikes! My patients aren't my subordinates, I'm not their subordinates either. Ma'am is awkward. It just is.

6. BHE/ BEH/ BEBE (RPD + Compre Resto, 2016; Ex-Compre Perio, 2015).

So far, I've only had two patients call me Bhe (plus all its other spellings). It's almost a shortcut for bebe, which means baby, but because of how language just evolves, Bhe is starting to be an acceptable way to refer to your friends. It's almost like "girl" in "Hey girl, whatcha doin'?". I'm coming to terms with accepting Bhe as the "older person talking to a younger person" version of Ate. --and yes, Bhe is warming up to me.:)

..but if a male would ever dare to call me Bhe, then it would be a problem.

7. NENG, or any variants of (ex-Endo, 2015).

Let me tell you something-- There is nothing that can easily mess up my relationship with a patient faster than being called Neng, Ne, Ineng, or any other word that is used to refer to a pre-pubescent girl. Neng is something you'd call a little girl. I can't think of any other word in American English that could compare, but the closest would probably be Ah girl in Singlish.

When I get called Neng, I feel that I'm seen as a little girl who wants to hurry home and go play with her dolls. Although I appreciate the tiny injection of youthfulness that comes with being called Neng, it's simply not appropriate anymore, as I'm a twentysomething woman, and the patient who first called me that is a middle-aged male. Don't even get me started on how inappropriate it is in the clinical set-up. Hahaha.


Errrr.. That's it?

Let's Swatch All My INGLOT Lipstick Pans!:)

I have a special love for Inglot Cosmetics. A very special love.

I crossed paths with Inglot the summer I was in between universities, and was on the last leg of my battle with depression. Inglot was there for me when I needed a fresh start, when I needed to feel good about myself, and when I needed a seed to help me grow into a person I could actually tolerate. Inglot was there for me when I needed to find myself. This would sound like a complete cliche, but I really did find happiness in make-up, and not just any make-up, I found happiness in Inglot. 

My first Inglot anythings were two lipstick pans.. and then two eyeshadow pans.. and then concealer.. and before I knew it, I was building my very first (and only, so far) EBP palette, but like I said, I first fell for the lipsticks (oh by the way, I learned at that as jarring as it sounds lipsticks, indeed, is the plural form of lipstick), and this fondness for Inglot lipsticks just blossomed to full-blown love. 

Swatchfest? READY!

A tiny disclaimer though-- I only swatched my Freedom System lipstick pans, and not the bullets. The first reason is that I chose all these lipstick colors myself, whereas my lipstick bullets all came from goodie bags of gifts with purchase. The second reason is that I find the Freedom System lipsticks to be superior than those of the bullet-type, all in so many aspects. Lastly, I don't always reach for my bullet lipsticks, but my pans are pretty much in regular rotation, so, there you go!

Inglot lipsticks are my holy grail lipsticks. While I do have my own little stash of MAC lipsticks, I still find Inglot generally better. I like the finish of Inglot lipstick pans-- they go on in what I could refer to as matte, but not too matte. When I look at MAC lipsticks, I tend to get stuck, almost wondering if I could get something that's like a cross of a matte and a cremesheen, or a matte and a lustre but with Inglot, everything's just spot-on. It's my perfect fit.:) Sometimes, I tend to go for specific finishes, like with #515, which is a real matte, or with #87, which is a frost, having really big glitter particles, but even with these specific finishes, everything comes out really perfectly!

Okay, I don't think that photo did the colors justice. here's another one, with filters!--

filtered!

I don't think I have a massive lipstick collection. I feel that with this group, I have all my colors covered. Oh wait, I'm speaking too soon. I kind of want a blue lipstick. I'm dead serious.

Okay, I know that the lipsticks come in pans, and that it's not always easy to have to take a lip brush with you wherever, but I feel that the trade-off is worth it, because I get better application with a lip brush anyway, so I don't really lose out. If these would come out in bullets, then great, but since they don't, it's fine too. Everything's awesome!:)

I keep my lipstick pans in their little Inglot empty palettes. What I really like about Inglot palettes is that they have magnets at the bottom to hold the pans, magnets again to close the palette, and magnets some more to stack palettes to take them anywhere on-the go. Inglot has really simple, yet really sleek packaging. Some people would find it bulky, but it's rather space-saving, actually.

I normally switch out the pans. When I go to school, I would just pack one lipstick, one blush, and an eyeshadow rainbow pan, and then I'm good to go. Unfortunately, I've found that storing powders (especially brown eyeshadow) along with lipstick isn't always the best idea, because specks of the powder could get on to the lipstick, and pretty much mess it up. I'm still trying to figure things out. I'll let you know soon. Or not.

Since we're on the topic of storage, let me tell you the story of the lonely red lipstick.

I don't wear red lipstick to school as often as I'd like to, mainly because it's quite messy, especially against a white uniform. Although I have done it in the past (I don't know if you caught my One School Week in Red Lipstick thing), but red lipstick isn't as wear and go as more neutral colors are, that's why I keep in a palette right next to a concealer, with the latter being my "saftey net" for when I accidentally color outside the lines. With respect to color psychology, red lipstick might not exactly be the best option for someone treating a patient in a very anxiety-inducing field (hello, Dentistry!). Red lipstick is outside my regular school lipstick rotation, but it's always there to save the day whenever it needs to.

Oh, Inglot lipstick pans smell like juice by the way.
Haha, just saying!

Inglot lipsticks are my ultimate holy grail lipsticks. What are yours?:)

How CD-Father Got Rid of the CD-Hater.

"I hate prostho." Can anybody tell me how many times I have verbalized these immortal words? Too many times, I feel. Well, I'm writing this to tell the world (more like, my three readers, hahaha) that I AM A CHANGED WOMAN. I don't hate Complete Denture Prosthodontics anymore.:)

I don't even know where my CD-hatred (and general Prosthodontics-hatred, to be frank) came from-- because when I was in second year, I performed relatively well in both RPD and CD. Let's not talk about FPD, because I failed that subject on the first try. Most people hate certain dental disciplines because of traumatic experiences, difficulty, or general disinterest, but me? I think the reason why I hated it was because I didn't understand it very well, and was probably too arrogant to admit it to myself.

Let's just say that life is really generous at giving chances.

I decided to discuss my CD3 yesterday. I had originally wanted to discuss with the Chief of Clinics, Dr. Esporlas, but because everybody wanted to discuss with him, and that all slots were pretty much full, I decided to ask the Dean, Dr. Alforja. He said yes, yay!

Confession Room

I'd rather not go into detail about all the things I've learned, because frankly, I learned so much, that I don't even know where to start anymore!:) Frankly, if I were to enumerate each and every little thing, this blog post would seriously look like a lecture.

I could go on and on about Complete Denture, but maybe, the biggest takeaway I have for you is that when you hate a certain discipline, whether it would be in Dentistry, or wherever, you just need to find yourself a good teacher, who genuinely loves the subject matter. Sometimes, just sometimes, their love is enough to cancel out your hatred, and then you end up liking something you've never expected to even be genuinely interested in. --and yes, that's exactly how Dr. Alforja got rid of the Complete Denture hater.:)

I have a tip for everyone, and it's actually a really point-blank in-your-face tip: DO NOT BE AN ARROGANT ARSEHOLE. There are several ways for a dental clinician to display arrogance, but I think the most unproductive and self-destructive type of arrogance is when you declare hatred for a certain subject simply because it cannot accommodate your impatience to actually understand it. Yes, take it from me. Take it from the human who dodged Prosthodontics for so many semesters, therefore ending up retained (and retained.. and retained..) in the clinics. If I had caught my Prostho-arrogance earlier on, I would have performed a very thorough self-examination starting with the question, Do I really hate Complete Denture, or do I just not understand it well enough? 

I also know that it's a little bit too late to say this, but in retrospect, I think I should have done better when I was taking Complete Denture as a pre-clinical class at my old school. Mind you, I did pretty well on that class, but apart from all the things I had passively memorized that somehow disappeared the moment I passed it, I really have nothing to show for it. See? It really doesn't matter if you've passed a class if you can't really apply the things you've learned in a more practical sense. If I could back time, I would have milked the class as much as I could, because the truth is, lapses in learning and missed opportunities catch up with you. I'm lucky that I have Dr. Alforja and Dr. Esporlas to help fill in my lapses, but not everyone is as lucky as I am.

I still have a long way to go before actually being 100% confident with Complete Denture, but I'm a little bit more confident now, than I was before the discussion. I still have so much to learn, but you know what-- I'm actually happy, knowing that I still have so much to learn. I feel that when you recognize your need to learn more things, you're on the right to actually learning more things. It's an indication of actual interest. A few days ago, I wasn't interested at all, but now, all I want is to be pals with Complete Denture. :)

Oh wait, I have a really interesting story to share with you!

Remember how I told you that everyone wanted to discuss with Dr. Esporlas? Well, unknown to my Clinic 1 sisters, Dr. Esporlas was cooking up a secret plan. I only learned about this from my sizzums, but apparently, Dr. Esporlas led them to the Confession Room, and told them that he'd be there shortly, and then all of a sudden, it was actually Dr. Alforja who came in. They thought that the Dean was just passing by, or that he was just pranking them.

Me, Dr. Esporlas, and the Clinic 1 sizzums <3

It wasn't what my sissies bargained for-- they got a whole lot more :)

NYX LIQUID SUEDE -- Tea & Cookies.

Oh look at me, so late to the liquid lipstick party. Hahahaha.
By the way, I'm currently binge-watching Don't Trust the B in Apartment 23.


I don't know why it took me so long to hop on to the liquid lipstick bandwagon, honestly. The thing is, liquid lipsticks have just started appealing to me. No, I wasn't one of those girls who went gaga over Kylie Lip Kits the second they hit Instagram. I did, however, get in contact with an online Colourpop seller at one point, but it wasn't for the liquid lipsticks, though. I don't know. I'm probably just LATE to the liquid lipstick party. That's my story, and I'm sticking with it. Haha.

I wanted to try a liquid lipstick. I had a NYX Soft Matte Lip Cream, but I didn't like it, so I asked one of our household helpers to take it with him to give to his sister when he went on vacation last summer. I thought I was sworn off NYX for life, but when I saw really nice reviews for Liquid Suede, I decided to go through with it. Chances, right?

My first encounter with NYX Liquid Suede was when I met up with my friend, Lhara, at SM Megamall a couple of months ago. I swatched a few shades, of course! I think I like Tea & Cookies, but at that time, not enough to actually buy it. Unfortunately, when I really did want it, it was so difficult to find in-store! I was at SM Makati last weekend, and they didn't have it in stock-- They only had the shade Sandstorm, along with some other dark shade that I was simply not interested in.

So I got on BeautyMNL.



Oh BeautyMNL, you always have my back. :*

Okaaay, so let me tell you something about Tea & Cookies. It's pink, it's cute, it's awesome. I'm not really good at describing colors, but I'd probably say that it's a more mature version of a Barbie pink, but way, way, way more neutral. It's something I'd wear with brown eyeshadow and a crisp white top, to at least give myself the illusion of sophistication. If you're into the peachy pinks with mauve undertones, this would be a nice addition to your little family.:)



I wouldn't exactly swear by the formula. It kind of moves around and takes a little while to settle, and to dry. I'm actually having difficulty believing in claims that this is waterproof. I wore this out this afternoon, and the longevity is really just average. I didn't want to think of this as just another drugstore liquid lipstick, but unfortunately, that's the impression I'm getting. It's not as opaque as I had hoped it would be, but then again, it's really not a horrible product.:)

I was kind of surprised by how it doesn't settle into the lines on my lips. I guess that even when it fades, it fades gracefully-- and yeah, even I would have to admit that it's a pro.

Oh come on, we all know that I can't be that white in real life. Hahaha
The sun was shining right on my face, but really, I'm a lot tanner.

I think I've come to realize something-- softer pinks don't look good on me when they're matte; but I kind of actually like how this marries into my lips. Now that I think about it, it kind of really does look like suede! I'm glad that the whole Liquid Suede thing isn't just a marketing thing. This kind of makes me want to try NYX Lingerie.

I'm only just starting to get the hang of using a liquid lipstick. I've been so used to applying lipstick from a bullet, or from a pan, that I feel like I have to re-learn lipstick application through a doe foot applicator, being that the last time I did so on a regular basis was just too long ago. I still have to work on my application technique to give myself an even coat.

Well yeah, liquid lipstick, yeahhh.

If I fall in love with the concept of liquid lipstick, you will know.

Corine Magenta

Prostho THIS, Prostho THAT.

I know how much I used to vocalize my utter hatred for Prosthodontics, but that was before I had a nice talk with Surgery Dad, Dr. Farnacio about my options after graduation. In Oral Surgery, you have to be good at Perio, Prostho, Endo.. It's all part of that big and beautiful Surgery umbrella. Well, I (used to) hate Prostho with passion, and Endo hates me with even more passion-- but let me tell you something, whatever beef I have wth Prostho and Endo combined literally has nothing on my love for  Surgery.

Unfortunately, all the Prostho and Endo hatred somehow caught up with me, and now I have no choice but to declare a semi-official Prostho + Endo Season. I can do any more surgeries, because I'm nearly done. I can't really afford to sweep Prostho and Endo under the rug anymore. It actually almost feels like having skeletons in the closet, and the skeletons just bursting from the hinges. --but then again, truth be told is that I don't have the luxury of time anymore.

Oh well, Prostho here, Prostho there. Let me tell you about the day I decided to work on my OCR.

We have a Prosthodontics Lab at school, but there are times when I would much rather do my stuff at home. I'm quite a talkative person, and it's something that somewhat identifies me. I like working on Prostho things in pairs or groups, but sometimes, I would much rather be alone, just watching television while having my fingers burned by an alcohol lamp. As far as extroversion and introversion go, I actually swing both ways (my goodness, that sounds too wrong).

In Complete Denture Prostho procedures, I have got to say that making OCRs is my favorite.:) It's a very nitpicky procedure, considering that there are numbers and really strict measurements to follow. You can't really wing it with OCRs, because ultimately, you will be deciding a patient's vertical dimension for a certain number of years, so it really needs to be correct. Don't get me wrong, I don't like making OCRs because of how nitpicky it. I like making OCRs because when I'm done, the wax ends up looking like candy. --and please, candy OCRs are pretty.

Unfortunately, when you work alone, you don't really have anyone to catch your mistakes while you make them. I really don't know what I was thinking when I made a cut on the posterior portion f my mandibular OCR. I don't have a picture of the cut OCR, but the picture I do have still has that cut scar on it.

If you take a really close look at the OCR, there's that little line
--that's where I made the I-didn't-know-what-I-was-thinking cut.

Until now, mind you, three days later-- I still have no idea what I was thinking when I made that cut. Hahahaha. I think I was a tiny bit distracted, as I've recently been struggling with having my One True Crush -slash- Crush Who Got Away pop into my thoughts very randomly. I even made a really emo Instagram post about it, my goodness! I had a few snippets of wisdom from Dr. San Luis, and I've come to realize that I should be a lot stronger than that. I shouldn't allow myself to produce wth-work every time I think of him. OH WELL. It only follows that I should look for a guy who would make me better, not worse.

I'm really excited for my VDO/VDR. I know that it's one of the most tedious steps in Complete Denture (no wait, Complete Denture is tedious in itself!), but I just want to get it over with. I'm excited, because I want it to be over-- just how weird is that?

Yeah, I'm out.:)

cmagenta

I BELIEVE IN DYCAL.

I was working on my Comprehensive Restorative Case today. I had to re-do existing restorations because of recurrent caries that have taken place, and of course, discoloration here and there, you know, the whole enchilada. It was a really critical area, because the teeth in question are maxillary central incisors, and the patient has already been mentioning how displeased she has been being with the appearance. I restored one surface (21-MI) last friday, and today, I had to dive into the rest-- Okay, 11- MI, P/L, D and 22- P/L, D.

When I discussed the Comprehensive Case, I was already warned. I was warned that the caries would be deep. I was even asked to run endo diagnostics just to rule out pulp necrosis (ruled out, obvs!) and to make sure that the teeth are vital (oh yes, they are!). I was warned that I'd have a difficult time. I listened, but because I am stubborn, I stuck with the case. For this case, I found prepping a little bit challenging. In Restorative Dentistry, we can classify caries as simple, compound, and complex. I didn't realize it then, but what I had on my chair was a patient with two teeth with complex caries, and the fact that I had to deal with recurrent caries blows my mind.

Today, I did my first every restorative case of the scary type. During caries removal of my lingual-slash-palatal recurrent caries over at tooth #11, I found that I was getting really close to the pulp. It was the first time I've ever seen a pulp exposure waiting to happen. I thought the pink would be some spread-out pinkness, but as it turned out, it was only just a line-- which makes sense, because the pulp kind of looks like a line. I don't know. The fact that 1mm of recklessness could mean the difference between a restorative case, and an endodontic case. I knew I had to be extra careful.


Enter Calcium Hydroxide.

I'm not even sure if this is the correct chemical structure for Dycal, but let's just pretend that it is.
Oh, and.. Thanks Google.

It wasn't too long ago that I was whining on Twitter about how Dycal used to be significantly cheaper when I was in Clinic 1 (and considering that I'm a megasenior who incurred a partial-reset in her Dentistry life, it's really safe to assume that "When I was in Clinic 1" was a long time ago). When I was in Clinic 1, Dycal was Php760, in the purple box; and when I bought Dycal again last month, it was about Php960(?), but in a different colored box.

I actually like the new Dycal. I used to hear horror stories about how Dycal sets too fast, and that some people would mix it inside the cavity preparation. With the expensive Dycal, I didn't have too much of a difficult time mixing and dispensing. Whatever magic secret ingredient the expensive Dycal has, it's good.:) I don't want to sound like an endorser or what, but I would have lost my head if not of Dycal. DYCAL IS AWESOME.

..but let me tell you something that's slightly more awesome than Dycal-- Faith. You know what, sometimes, no wait-- most of the time, it's so easy to allow yourself to be eaten up by obscurity and self-doubt. I know that I'm in no position to be all preachy about self-confidence, as I myself have only just rediscovered it, but maybe, just maybe we can all gain a little something better and brighter from having faith in ourselves. Okay, I'm by no means an excellent student, but I scored four 100s today (one in Oral Surgery, three in Restorative), just let that be enough motivation for you to believe in yourself.

I believe in myself, I believe in Dycal.
Okay, I'm out.:)

By the way, if you're confused as to what I mean by Restorative Dentistry, I mean fillings. In other parts of the world, it's called Operative Dentistry.

Corine Magenta

Yo, "THE ONE".

I've always believed that you exist.

I don't know where you've been all this time, but I know you have got to be somewhere. I've never really held solid evidence of that, but I think I just knew, deep in my heart. I know that I'm okay as a single unit, but I also know that I could be stellar, if part of something a little bit more special than an island. I know that I'm meant to be part of something significant, and that when I do become part of something significant, it would be amazing. I know this, I know that, and you know what-- I'm actually sure. The only problem is, for someone so sure, there's one piece of vital information that I do not know of, let alone, am sure of-- I have no idea who you are.



Ang laki-laki ng mundo. Mahahanap mo pa kaya ako?
The world is so big. Could you possibly even find me?

MAKE ME UP (before I lose my mind).

It's been three days short of a month since the semester started (my oh my, where did the time go?), and since then, I haven't been feeling much like myself. I've been so sleepy, so hungry, and so tired. I've been sleeping a good number of hours, I've been eating well, and I've been getting what I believe is enough rest; but it's like there's this inner tiredness that's just eating me up.

I've been feeling rather bitchy. Oh bitchy. What an ugly, yet so vague, word. If I'm going to trash-talk anyone, including myself, in what let alone is my own space, I think I can afford to be actually act like an educated person by actually being descriptive. Okay, here's the thing-- I've been feeling vile, unpleasant and downright mean.

My emotions have been so unstable, that just last week, I cried while Dr. San Luis was asking me about one of my cases. I also happened to be extra moody when Justin, the Clinicians' Club President, tried to cheer me up when I was frustrated that a patient couldn't make it. Even my Clinic I chairmate had to suffer my meanness after I scolded her because of monitor duties. SERIOUSLY, the stressed-out me isn't a person I necessarily like. I somewhat feel like I'm getting eaten up by a terrible hormone-monster, and that if I don't feed myself with mega-doses of love an happiness, I would just crumble from the inside.

I know that this is a very lame attempt at "cheering myself up", but tonight, I decided to a little bit of pampering. I haven't been doing a lot of fun things lately, so I guess this is a good start to my "regaining" my sense of self (so deep).

New make-up!

I've been all about the department store brands (some people call them drugstore brands) lately. My favorites being L'Oreal and Maybelline. I know I don't really talk about the department store brands so much, but I love them as much as the next guy girl. While yes, there will be hits and misses, we can talk about them some other day.

I ran out of my Maybelline Super BB Cream just a few days ago, so I decided to try the L'Oreal True Match BB Cream today. I was rather iffy about it because it only comes in one shade. Seriously, one shade! I'm your typical Southeast Asian with typical Southeast Asian skin, so you could really understand why this worried me a bit. Of course, I tried it on, and while it did turn out well, I've yet to actually perform a road test. 

I also bought myself a really interesting brow kit, Fashion Brow from Maybelline. It has three pans-- one wax, and two powders. Apparently it's a brow and nose palette. Hmm. Interesting.

I also got myself a pot of Maybelline Eye Studio Color Tattoo 24HR in the shade Inked in Pink. I know that I have too many eyeshadows, and too many eyeshadow palettes, but I like to believe that this one's special. I want something that I can wear to school without looking or feeling too made-up. I've gone to school in full-on eyeshadow in the past, and it wasn't exactly pleasant. I want something quick, light, but rather pronounced. Oh you know what, I was actually initially eyeing a MAC Paint Pot, but um. No thanks.:)

I tried on a few eyeliners. All Maybelline or L'Oreal. While I happened to really like them, I somehow managed to stop myself, as I'm only halfway through my current one, and I have another pen eyeliner as backup. The same goes for mascara-- all from my mini-haul in Hong Kong a few months ago. Maybelline and L'Oreal have been stepping up their games, I feel. I think I could even come up with a list of the things I want to try. 

What I won't be trying, however is the Maybelline brow powder in the pen packaging. I tried it on, and it honestly looked and felt like dirt. Well you know, like I said earlier-- hits and misses, hits and misses. 

Oh, guess what-- I also had my eyebrows threaded! I'm simply unskilled with the razor, I'm too much of a wuss to do the job myself with tweezers, and eyebrow waxing scared the hell out of me, so yes, ultimately, brow threading is my way to go.

Really pathetic brow situration :(

I'm not blessed at all with nice brows, but I like to think that I'm doing the best I could.

Oh wait, I just had an epiphany--

I'm not blessed with multitasking skills, but I like to think that I'm doing the best I could.

Okay, I feel better now.:)

Corine Magenta

COFFEE THOUGHTS.

Last week, one of my newest clinician baby sisters, Tricia, very randomly asked me, "Ate, mahilig ka mag-coffee, no?" -- I can't find a 100% direct way to translate this to English for all of you, but it's pretty much like, "(Older female honorific), you like taking coffee, don't you?". She said that she somewhat deduced it after seeing it "somewhere", with "somewhere", possibly being Instagram-- which totally makes all the sense in the world, because my Instagram blurb is "CAFE y MAQUILLAJE", which is Spanish for "coffee and make-up". Yes.

I've had a rather complicated relationship over the past few years. When I was 17 (first year of AAPD), I was in love with coffee; then from when I was about 18.5 about 21, I was going through body image issues, and my habits pretty much put coffee out of rotation. When I was 22, I went through mental health issues wherein I had to take anti-depressants over a period of time, and coffee would have interacted with the medication I was taking-- but it's not like I needed coffee to stay awake anyway, I had my insecurities and death thoughts to help me with that. By the way, that phase has passed, can you believe it? Hooray!:)

I know I really shouldn't be taking so much coffee, because no matter how hard I try to deny it, I still have thyroid disease hanging over my head. Don't worry, I'm not a coffee addict. I'm just an Asian of the Hispanic ancestry type, coffee love just comes naturally.<3

Coffee from a drip bag!
Prepared by the best maid ever.

I have a lot of things to do today, and I have a lot to prepare for the coming week. I'm going to try to spend as little time as possible inside the clinical infirmary to spend more time studying for, and working on my case discussions, simply because I want to just get all the case discussions out of the way, and start all my cases simultaneously, or at least, within days of each other. I feel so thrown off-schedule, in a clinician sense, but I kind of have to remind myself that I purposely but myself on a relatively tighter schedule out of this little thing called paranoia. Everything's going to be fine, I try to remind myself.:)

It feels like I haven't talked to you, my beloved readers (yes, all three of you, hahaha), in ages. Last week was just really difficult. My friend died, school was tough, you know.. Usual stuff. No wait, I take that back. There's nothing usual about having a friend having passed at 26. I'm trying to let it out, but at the same time, I'm trying to catch up with the carousel that will keep turning. I really want to handle my feelings like a mature person, and maybe one day, I'll have enough courage to actually acknowledge my feelings. I know you'll be around for me when that happens, and you know what-- that means the world to me.

I love you, readers. More than you know.:)


Corine Magenta

PS. Do I have a University of North Carolina reader here? I think I do, but as I'm only basing from statistics, I'm not really sure. Please please please, introduce yourself.:) I wanna give you a virtual hug!:)

BRAIN FOG PULPITIS.

Today, I got stumped during Oral Diagnosis.

I had this patient today. Let's call her SS Patient. She's actually one of my younger friends, but because she's a patient, and I'm really big on patient confidentiality (or at least I should be), I won't say anything else that might compromise her identity. ANYWAY, I got stumped during Oral Diagnosis. I'm not proud of it, but for the sake of documenting my growth as a diagnostician, let's just talk about it.

You know how tiny cavities turn into big cavities, and cavities turn into crazy lesions from the underworld? Well, that's what happened. She had a big carious lesion that somehow exhibited what I could, in the most ditzy terms, describe as a pink circle thingy that looks like it came out of nowhere, but held on to the remaining tooth structure for dear life. The simplest phrasing of the diagnosis was pulp polyp, but that wasn't the diagnosis that the clinical instructor was looking for. 

I knew that I learned about that lesion in Oral Pathology, and I remember seeing it before in a pediatric patient some three(?) years ago, but today, I forgot what the lesion is called. The words hyperplastic, chronic, and pulp were floating in my head, but I couldn't really piece them together. I even asked my senior to help me, but not even he could fix my brain fog. My brain frog was so bad that I even blurted out "granuloma" -- which is complete garbage because granulomas are periapical.

My clinical instructor was even like, "I'm surprised that you can't identify it, since you're graduating." --of course, I don't resent her for it, because it's TRUE. I should have been able to diagnose it properly within seconds (okay fine, maybe a minute) of seeing it. I shouldn't have had to flip open an Oral Pathology book while my patient was seated on my dental chair. I should have been better today. 

truth!

CHRONIC HYPERPLASTIC PULPITIS. I think this would actually stick, because I think I would end up associating Chronic Hyperplastic Pulpitis with "I need to be better"-sentiments. Hmm. 

One of my "resolutions" for this school year is to read more, even when I don't really need to. Unfortunately, I haven't been being able to realize it, because, let's just admit it, I have no willpower, and I lack follow-through. Considering what my lack of diagnostic skills put me through today, I think it's enough motivation to get back on track from my derailed ways.

It's been a little bit less than three weeks since the semester started, and I'm trying my best to own up to the expectations of being in legit final year. During my non-legit final years (no, this is not my first time being in "fourth year"), the pressure wasn't like this. I used to just be contented with not knowing because I somewhat believed that I could "learn it later". Now, it feels like there's no "later", because this really is the final year. I don't know. I'm rambling.

I'm still in the process of finding the right balance between not settling for mediocrity and not being afraid of making mistakes. Mistakes are part of the learning process, but I should minimize my errors. I just want to be happy learner, that's all. I feel that I'd cause my own deterioration the moment that my academic endeavors stop coming from a place of love and happiness. 

My goodness, can I do this gracefully?

Corine Magenta

Growing up together + Cantonese music + disorganization + make-up game + JOLLIBEE BINGE

I'm starting to feel that my blogs are starting to become frustratingly difficult to relate to, nowadays. What ever happened to the Corine Magenta who loves lipstick? Hmm. I still love lipstick and all them beauty things, but I don't know, I'm at this stage (ooohhh, a stage) that's heavily characterized by a gradual shift in priorities. I don't know, I feel calibrated to some extent. Maybe this is me finally growing up a little bit more. It is about time, after all.. Because I've finally realized how old I am. It's okay though, because at least we all get to grow up together. <3

Together is more fun anyway.

I've mentioned on previous posts that I've been adjusting to a new waking time, and yay, I've been being able to stick with it. Please, present perfect tense, because I'm just that optimistic!:) When I wake up in the morning, I give myself about 30 minutes to just roll in bed, just to process things. I drink a glass of water, I watch a few YouTube videos. I just give myself time to finish up my unproductivity, so that I could keep myself moving throughout the day. --but of course, the real magic happens when I step into the car, on the way to school.

I LISTEN TO CANTONESE MUSIC ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL.

I feel that Cantonese is my "productivity" language. Not in a sense that I'm more productive when I speak in Cantonese, because, well.. I can't speak Cantonese (yet! *wink*), but there's something about Cantonese that excites my blood cells, and makes me want to be bright and awesome. Cantonese music makes me feel better about myself.

That's my current favorite song. The title in English is, No Power Is The Disaster. Again, I don't speak Cantonese, but I'm inclined to feeling that it's a motivating happy song. Yat Lok Yat Ceot (2013, my goodness!) is also a go-to song. It was the first Cantonese song I bought from the Apple Music store, and it will always have a special place in my heart.

Another thing is that I'm starting to really love mondays. I used to struggle with liking mondays, but now, it's pretty much my favorite day of the school week.. And I'm not just saying that because mondays (and only mondays) are when Surgery Dad, who's really generous with compliments, is on duty at clinics. I don't know. It's just an extra dose of motivation, having a clinical instructor who makes you feel like a superstar-- it makes you extra eager to strive harder, just to get a bit closer to mastery.

I'm normally a very disorganized person, but I've been trying my best to up the organization by actually keeping and updating my agenda. My old strategy was to plan for the entire week-- that was until I realized that when one plan doesn't push through, I get dragged down so easily, that the succeeding days don't have a positive entrance. Now, I only plan for two days, and when that's done, I plan again. So basically, what I'm trying to say is that it's monday today, but I have absolutely no idea what in the world I'll be doing on wednesday.

Let me reiterate that I'm a very disorganized person, but I think that I could bump up the organization by just bringing the bare necessities in my bag. I still have a long way to go, but I think that even just trying to get organized is a step towards the right direction.

My so-called make-up game has somewhat stabilized. Unfortunately, there isn't much to it aside from some sort of foundation (today, it was just BB cream), eyeliner, mascara, eyebrow powder and lipstick. I miss having the luxury of time and energy to actually doll up.:(

blurry photo-- the car was moving

If I had it my way, I'd have time to do a little bit of highlighting and contouring, which are actually two of the most fun things to do in my entire make-up ritual, but oh well. Maybe when I have everything in order, I'll be able to do that, but for now.. No. :(

Ohhh, I went on a Jollibee binge today. The maid's sick at the moment, so I wasn't able to get my "nutritious food" fix today, and probably won't be able to, for two more days. What I had at school was absolute junk, and what I had after was even more junk-- but hey, it was Jollibee, so it was worth it.

Adobo flakes yum burger

Ooookay.. Jollibee is like the Filipino fast food chain. Currently they sell these limited edition adobo flakes yum burgers, in line with Philippine Independence Day (last month, hehe). Adobo is the unofficial national dish of the Philippines, and it's basically meat marinated in soy sauce, vinegar, and garlic, and then cooked with peppercorns, bay leaves, and even more garlic. Up until recently, I never imagined adobo in a burger. 

yummy

The burger was.. Interesting. It was yummy, but there was part of me that just couldn't wrap my head around the idea of adobo in a burger. Adobo's usually taken with rice. It was good, but it's not the type of burger I'd want to have every day for the rest of my fast-food eating life (McDonald's cheeseburger, I'm looking at you). The burger was really saucy. I have to be honest-- the adobo inside the burger was definitely not the adobo I'm used to. Then again, adobo can be made in a multitude of ways, depending on the region, so maybe I just have to figure out what provincial style the Jollibee adobo was made in. Oh.. Yes, you should try it.

Hmm.. It was really nice catching up with you, here on the blog.:)

PLEASE SEND ME LOVE.

Corine Magenta

Fruit :)

I went on a mini fruit haul today!

fruit haul

I've been reflecting on my food choices lately, and I've come to realize that I haven't been eating things that are necessarily healthful. I've been eating hell of a lot of rice, which is good, but when it comes to viands, I've been filling myself up with meat, and regrettably, a lot of it has been processed. I've also been eating a lot of sodium-rich junk food, which I'm sure is responsible for my crazy bloating. I haven't been eating the best food lately, and it really sucks.

I've been so tired all the time, and my skin hasn't been at its best, so I figured that it must be what I've been eating, because truth be told, neither my sleeping habits nor my skin care routine have been altered. While sure, it's the time of the month, and hormones are going crazy, but I've never had a period that has made me this tired, or this ugly. I just don't feel my best, that's all. And I blame all the junk food.

Now, I'm really not a fruit person. I'm not a sweets person either. Given a choice, I'd much rather have grilled eggplant or something over apples or oranges. If this weren't a skin thing, I probably would have gone to the vegetable section of the supermarket instead. I'm just not the type to be "in love" with fruit unless it's dragonfruit or coconuts. I tried juicing for a while, but it didn't really hold up. It was just fun forcing fruits down the receiving tube, but that was just about it.

I never really realized how expensive fruit is. I know that I live in the Philippines, with natural resources and all, but please, I live in Metropolitan Manila, the capital. The closest "fruit source" here is about 45 minutes away, and they only have pineapples there. Before coming to Metropolitan Manila, fruits have to get loaded into big trucks, and hauled through highways, from provinces and provinces. When the fruits get here, they're not as fresh as they should be, and they're quite expensive. Either way, I lose.:(

Well anyway, I decided to buy them anyway.

I have an interesting relationship with soursops. In Filipino (Tagalog), and I'm guessing in Spanish as well, it's called guyabano. When I was younger, I really liked instant guyabano juice, but now that I've been able to eat the actual fruit, I'm not sure I like it very much.

It's not the first time I've attempted to eat guyabano. Probably about a year ago, I bought one from the supermarket, but I hated it, but only before realizing that I opened it up before it had ripened enough. Today, I made sure that mine was ripe. I didn't hate it, but let's just say that I finished half of it, and gave the rest to the maid. I remember my grandparents really liking guyabano when they were alive, and now that I think about it, I'm really starting to wonder why.

I would have gotten sugar apples (atis) instead, but the ones at the supermarket were pretty hard and unripe, so I passed, but it I had the chance, I would have gotten sugar apples instead.. because sugar apples are the best.

I came across a mutant orange today. I swear the internet has ruined me, because the first thing I thought of when I saw it wasn't exactly something you'd expect to think of when you see fruit. I don't know. Have I just been corrupted, or does it really look like something?

Tell me what you think it looks like. I dare you.

I don't like oranges. I hate how the skin is so thin, and whatever fruity goodness is inside is almost always sour. I prefer mandarin oranges-- little adorable sweet things, easy to peel, yo.

I had half a honeydew today, and a few longans, and well, they were good, nothing special. I was too full to have anything for dinner, and to be honest, I was too tired to eat anything else.:(

Errrrr... That's it?

Corine Magenta

STRESS.

This week hasn't exactly been the best. While I did have a great start by doing an odontectomy last Monday, the rest of the week has been physically and emotionally (but mostly physically) demanding. I shouldn't be stressing too much over it, because it is the time of the month, and pre-existing medical conditions pretty much send my hormone-associated symptoms on overdrive. I've just been really tired this week, and my oh my. My.

It's been starting to rain here and there. Philippine monsoons typically start in May or June, but this year, it's a little bit late. Considering the fact that it's pretty much wrecking our school schedules, I think we're still blessed as a nation, in general, because at least nothing too horrible has stricken (yet). When typhoons come, classes usually get suspended, and when that happens, school kids everywhere (except maybe dental clinicians) are happy when school gets cancelled, but now that I'm older, I think I've realized how wrong that kind of mentality is, especially when you think about old people who have to use public transportation in the pouring rain.

--and that's exactly why my patient didn't make it today.

Hmm.

School was cancelled at around 12:00NN. My original schedule involved performing intraoral photography on my Complete Denture patient, but since she couldn't make it, I decided to proceed to Plan B, which was actually doing research work. The Chief of Clinics pretty much stopped me, and told me to work on my non-patient procedures, which I happily obliged to.:) I realized that everything works out after all, and I couldn't be happier. I realized that I need to work more on my amalgam polishing skills. I polished three amalgam restorations today, and my clinical instructor only liked one. So yes, I do need to work harder!:)

While I have been able to accomplish most of my goals since the semester started, I'm still a bit sad that I haven't been able to accomplish them all. I know that there are some things that are beyond my control, such as inclement weather, and just yesterday, electric issues at school, but I don't know.. I'm under so much pressure, and whether or not that pressure is self-manufactured, I can't really tell anymore.

Electric issues at school.:(
--and yes, my parents were pretty upset when I told them about it.

This week has been generally stressful, but yesterday was the worst. I don't mean to rant, but the matriculation increased by Php10,000 (which is a lot by Philippine standard of living), and yet something like this happened. I won't even go into the fact that the ceiling was dripping today when it rained. Oh wait, I just did. I love my university, I love my teachers, I love all the things I'm learning-- but why won't the school love me back?:(

My feelings are pretty much on haywire because of my hormone issues, and at this point, it's really difficult to keep myself optimistic. The physical and emotional stress has just been tiring me out.

summary of all my feelings this week

I've been spending more time playing with our dogs this week. On a normal school week, I would have just said quick hellos and whatnot, but this week, I felt like I needed to really hug them as some form or de-stressing. Well, what can I say? Our dogs are amazing.<3

JJ and Me <3

I have a better photo with JJ on Instagram. I took this when I got home from my blacked-out university yesterday. I took a whole series of shots, and only a few of them turned out nicely because we both kept moving.:) Such a sweet dog, this JJ. 

We actually have two dogs, but the other one wasn't really in the mood to play yesterday, so he didn't get to take pictures with me and JJ by the pool.

Oh, I got new specs yesterday. I'm actually supposed to be a glasses-wearer, but with every pair of glasses, there'd always be something unsatisfactory about it.. Frames would break, or the lenses wouldn't work for me for very long. My last refraction was more than a year ago, and when the optometrist I went to yesterday checked me again, she noticed that the reading for my right eye was completely off from my previous prescription. It's okay though, because this new prescription is perfect.

Snoe and Me!

It took me a while to actually select which frame I wanted. I would have gone for a half-rimmed frame, but since my left lens was so thin, it wouldn't have been the best option for me, because then the lens would easily break-- and there's no way I'd be okay with breaking a multicoated lens. 

Oh, fun fact, by the way-- when I was starting to enrol for college at CEU, I chose Dentistry as my first choice program, and Optometry second, but that was almost completely random, I could have written Optometry first and Dentistry second. If I had gone into Optometry, I still would have been just as happy about it.. but of course, if I had gone into Optometry, I wouldn't be the same person. Believe me.

I'm just happy that this week has ended. I intend to rest really well this weekend.:)