I BELIEVE IN DYCAL.

I was working on my Comprehensive Restorative Case today. I had to re-do existing restorations because of recurrent caries that have taken place, and of course, discoloration here and there, you know, the whole enchilada. It was a really critical area, because the teeth in question are maxillary central incisors, and the patient has already been mentioning how displeased she has been being with the appearance. I restored one surface (21-MI) last friday, and today, I had to dive into the rest-- Okay, 11- MI, P/L, D and 22- P/L, D.

When I discussed the Comprehensive Case, I was already warned. I was warned that the caries would be deep. I was even asked to run endo diagnostics just to rule out pulp necrosis (ruled out, obvs!) and to make sure that the teeth are vital (oh yes, they are!). I was warned that I'd have a difficult time. I listened, but because I am stubborn, I stuck with the case. For this case, I found prepping a little bit challenging. In Restorative Dentistry, we can classify caries as simple, compound, and complex. I didn't realize it then, but what I had on my chair was a patient with two teeth with complex caries, and the fact that I had to deal with recurrent caries blows my mind.

Today, I did my first every restorative case of the scary type. During caries removal of my lingual-slash-palatal recurrent caries over at tooth #11, I found that I was getting really close to the pulp. It was the first time I've ever seen a pulp exposure waiting to happen. I thought the pink would be some spread-out pinkness, but as it turned out, it was only just a line-- which makes sense, because the pulp kind of looks like a line. I don't know. The fact that 1mm of recklessness could mean the difference between a restorative case, and an endodontic case. I knew I had to be extra careful.


Enter Calcium Hydroxide.

I'm not even sure if this is the correct chemical structure for Dycal, but let's just pretend that it is.
Oh, and.. Thanks Google.

It wasn't too long ago that I was whining on Twitter about how Dycal used to be significantly cheaper when I was in Clinic 1 (and considering that I'm a megasenior who incurred a partial-reset in her Dentistry life, it's really safe to assume that "When I was in Clinic 1" was a long time ago). When I was in Clinic 1, Dycal was Php760, in the purple box; and when I bought Dycal again last month, it was about Php960(?), but in a different colored box.

I actually like the new Dycal. I used to hear horror stories about how Dycal sets too fast, and that some people would mix it inside the cavity preparation. With the expensive Dycal, I didn't have too much of a difficult time mixing and dispensing. Whatever magic secret ingredient the expensive Dycal has, it's good.:) I don't want to sound like an endorser or what, but I would have lost my head if not of Dycal. DYCAL IS AWESOME.

..but let me tell you something that's slightly more awesome than Dycal-- Faith. You know what, sometimes, no wait-- most of the time, it's so easy to allow yourself to be eaten up by obscurity and self-doubt. I know that I'm in no position to be all preachy about self-confidence, as I myself have only just rediscovered it, but maybe, just maybe we can all gain a little something better and brighter from having faith in ourselves. Okay, I'm by no means an excellent student, but I scored four 100s today (one in Oral Surgery, three in Restorative), just let that be enough motivation for you to believe in yourself.

I believe in myself, I believe in Dycal.
Okay, I'm out.:)

By the way, if you're confused as to what I mean by Restorative Dentistry, I mean fillings. In other parts of the world, it's called Operative Dentistry.

Corine Magenta

Yo, "THE ONE".

I've always believed that you exist.

I don't know where you've been all this time, but I know you have got to be somewhere. I've never really held solid evidence of that, but I think I just knew, deep in my heart. I know that I'm okay as a single unit, but I also know that I could be stellar, if part of something a little bit more special than an island. I know that I'm meant to be part of something significant, and that when I do become part of something significant, it would be amazing. I know this, I know that, and you know what-- I'm actually sure. The only problem is, for someone so sure, there's one piece of vital information that I do not know of, let alone, am sure of-- I have no idea who you are.



Ang laki-laki ng mundo. Mahahanap mo pa kaya ako?
The world is so big. Could you possibly even find me?

MAKE ME UP (before I lose my mind).

It's been three days short of a month since the semester started (my oh my, where did the time go?), and since then, I haven't been feeling much like myself. I've been so sleepy, so hungry, and so tired. I've been sleeping a good number of hours, I've been eating well, and I've been getting what I believe is enough rest; but it's like there's this inner tiredness that's just eating me up.

I've been feeling rather bitchy. Oh bitchy. What an ugly, yet so vague, word. If I'm going to trash-talk anyone, including myself, in what let alone is my own space, I think I can afford to be actually act like an educated person by actually being descriptive. Okay, here's the thing-- I've been feeling vile, unpleasant and downright mean.

My emotions have been so unstable, that just last week, I cried while Dr. San Luis was asking me about one of my cases. I also happened to be extra moody when Justin, the Clinicians' Club President, tried to cheer me up when I was frustrated that a patient couldn't make it. Even my Clinic I chairmate had to suffer my meanness after I scolded her because of monitor duties. SERIOUSLY, the stressed-out me isn't a person I necessarily like. I somewhat feel like I'm getting eaten up by a terrible hormone-monster, and that if I don't feed myself with mega-doses of love an happiness, I would just crumble from the inside.

I know that this is a very lame attempt at "cheering myself up", but tonight, I decided to a little bit of pampering. I haven't been doing a lot of fun things lately, so I guess this is a good start to my "regaining" my sense of self (so deep).

New make-up!

I've been all about the department store brands (some people call them drugstore brands) lately. My favorites being L'Oreal and Maybelline. I know I don't really talk about the department store brands so much, but I love them as much as the next guy girl. While yes, there will be hits and misses, we can talk about them some other day.

I ran out of my Maybelline Super BB Cream just a few days ago, so I decided to try the L'Oreal True Match BB Cream today. I was rather iffy about it because it only comes in one shade. Seriously, one shade! I'm your typical Southeast Asian with typical Southeast Asian skin, so you could really understand why this worried me a bit. Of course, I tried it on, and while it did turn out well, I've yet to actually perform a road test. 

I also bought myself a really interesting brow kit, Fashion Brow from Maybelline. It has three pans-- one wax, and two powders. Apparently it's a brow and nose palette. Hmm. Interesting.

I also got myself a pot of Maybelline Eye Studio Color Tattoo 24HR in the shade Inked in Pink. I know that I have too many eyeshadows, and too many eyeshadow palettes, but I like to believe that this one's special. I want something that I can wear to school without looking or feeling too made-up. I've gone to school in full-on eyeshadow in the past, and it wasn't exactly pleasant. I want something quick, light, but rather pronounced. Oh you know what, I was actually initially eyeing a MAC Paint Pot, but um. No thanks.:)

I tried on a few eyeliners. All Maybelline or L'Oreal. While I happened to really like them, I somehow managed to stop myself, as I'm only halfway through my current one, and I have another pen eyeliner as backup. The same goes for mascara-- all from my mini-haul in Hong Kong a few months ago. Maybelline and L'Oreal have been stepping up their games, I feel. I think I could even come up with a list of the things I want to try. 

What I won't be trying, however is the Maybelline brow powder in the pen packaging. I tried it on, and it honestly looked and felt like dirt. Well you know, like I said earlier-- hits and misses, hits and misses. 

Oh, guess what-- I also had my eyebrows threaded! I'm simply unskilled with the razor, I'm too much of a wuss to do the job myself with tweezers, and eyebrow waxing scared the hell out of me, so yes, ultimately, brow threading is my way to go.

Really pathetic brow situration :(

I'm not blessed at all with nice brows, but I like to think that I'm doing the best I could.

Oh wait, I just had an epiphany--

I'm not blessed with multitasking skills, but I like to think that I'm doing the best I could.

Okay, I feel better now.:)

Corine Magenta

COFFEE THOUGHTS.

Last week, one of my newest clinician baby sisters, Tricia, very randomly asked me, "Ate, mahilig ka mag-coffee, no?" -- I can't find a 100% direct way to translate this to English for all of you, but it's pretty much like, "(Older female honorific), you like taking coffee, don't you?". She said that she somewhat deduced it after seeing it "somewhere", with "somewhere", possibly being Instagram-- which totally makes all the sense in the world, because my Instagram blurb is "CAFE y MAQUILLAJE", which is Spanish for "coffee and make-up". Yes.

I've had a rather complicated relationship over the past few years. When I was 17 (first year of AAPD), I was in love with coffee; then from when I was about 18.5 about 21, I was going through body image issues, and my habits pretty much put coffee out of rotation. When I was 22, I went through mental health issues wherein I had to take anti-depressants over a period of time, and coffee would have interacted with the medication I was taking-- but it's not like I needed coffee to stay awake anyway, I had my insecurities and death thoughts to help me with that. By the way, that phase has passed, can you believe it? Hooray!:)

I know I really shouldn't be taking so much coffee, because no matter how hard I try to deny it, I still have thyroid disease hanging over my head. Don't worry, I'm not a coffee addict. I'm just an Asian of the Hispanic ancestry type, coffee love just comes naturally.<3

Coffee from a drip bag!
Prepared by the best maid ever.

I have a lot of things to do today, and I have a lot to prepare for the coming week. I'm going to try to spend as little time as possible inside the clinical infirmary to spend more time studying for, and working on my case discussions, simply because I want to just get all the case discussions out of the way, and start all my cases simultaneously, or at least, within days of each other. I feel so thrown off-schedule, in a clinician sense, but I kind of have to remind myself that I purposely but myself on a relatively tighter schedule out of this little thing called paranoia. Everything's going to be fine, I try to remind myself.:)

It feels like I haven't talked to you, my beloved readers (yes, all three of you, hahaha), in ages. Last week was just really difficult. My friend died, school was tough, you know.. Usual stuff. No wait, I take that back. There's nothing usual about having a friend having passed at 26. I'm trying to let it out, but at the same time, I'm trying to catch up with the carousel that will keep turning. I really want to handle my feelings like a mature person, and maybe one day, I'll have enough courage to actually acknowledge my feelings. I know you'll be around for me when that happens, and you know what-- that means the world to me.

I love you, readers. More than you know.:)


Corine Magenta

PS. Do I have a University of North Carolina reader here? I think I do, but as I'm only basing from statistics, I'm not really sure. Please please please, introduce yourself.:) I wanna give you a virtual hug!:)

BRAIN FOG PULPITIS.

Today, I got stumped during Oral Diagnosis.

I had this patient today. Let's call her SS Patient. She's actually one of my younger friends, but because she's a patient, and I'm really big on patient confidentiality (or at least I should be), I won't say anything else that might compromise her identity. ANYWAY, I got stumped during Oral Diagnosis. I'm not proud of it, but for the sake of documenting my growth as a diagnostician, let's just talk about it.

You know how tiny cavities turn into big cavities, and cavities turn into crazy lesions from the underworld? Well, that's what happened. She had a big carious lesion that somehow exhibited what I could, in the most ditzy terms, describe as a pink circle thingy that looks like it came out of nowhere, but held on to the remaining tooth structure for dear life. The simplest phrasing of the diagnosis was pulp polyp, but that wasn't the diagnosis that the clinical instructor was looking for. 

I knew that I learned about that lesion in Oral Pathology, and I remember seeing it before in a pediatric patient some three(?) years ago, but today, I forgot what the lesion is called. The words hyperplastic, chronic, and pulp were floating in my head, but I couldn't really piece them together. I even asked my senior to help me, but not even he could fix my brain fog. My brain frog was so bad that I even blurted out "granuloma" -- which is complete garbage because granulomas are periapical.

My clinical instructor was even like, "I'm surprised that you can't identify it, since you're graduating." --of course, I don't resent her for it, because it's TRUE. I should have been able to diagnose it properly within seconds (okay fine, maybe a minute) of seeing it. I shouldn't have had to flip open an Oral Pathology book while my patient was seated on my dental chair. I should have been better today. 

truth!

CHRONIC HYPERPLASTIC PULPITIS. I think this would actually stick, because I think I would end up associating Chronic Hyperplastic Pulpitis with "I need to be better"-sentiments. Hmm. 

One of my "resolutions" for this school year is to read more, even when I don't really need to. Unfortunately, I haven't been being able to realize it, because, let's just admit it, I have no willpower, and I lack follow-through. Considering what my lack of diagnostic skills put me through today, I think it's enough motivation to get back on track from my derailed ways.

It's been a little bit less than three weeks since the semester started, and I'm trying my best to own up to the expectations of being in legit final year. During my non-legit final years (no, this is not my first time being in "fourth year"), the pressure wasn't like this. I used to just be contented with not knowing because I somewhat believed that I could "learn it later". Now, it feels like there's no "later", because this really is the final year. I don't know. I'm rambling.

I'm still in the process of finding the right balance between not settling for mediocrity and not being afraid of making mistakes. Mistakes are part of the learning process, but I should minimize my errors. I just want to be happy learner, that's all. I feel that I'd cause my own deterioration the moment that my academic endeavors stop coming from a place of love and happiness. 

My goodness, can I do this gracefully?

Corine Magenta

Growing up together + Cantonese music + disorganization + make-up game + JOLLIBEE BINGE

I'm starting to feel that my blogs are starting to become frustratingly difficult to relate to, nowadays. What ever happened to the Corine Magenta who loves lipstick? Hmm. I still love lipstick and all them beauty things, but I don't know, I'm at this stage (ooohhh, a stage) that's heavily characterized by a gradual shift in priorities. I don't know, I feel calibrated to some extent. Maybe this is me finally growing up a little bit more. It is about time, after all.. Because I've finally realized how old I am. It's okay though, because at least we all get to grow up together. <3

Together is more fun anyway.

I've mentioned on previous posts that I've been adjusting to a new waking time, and yay, I've been being able to stick with it. Please, present perfect tense, because I'm just that optimistic!:) When I wake up in the morning, I give myself about 30 minutes to just roll in bed, just to process things. I drink a glass of water, I watch a few YouTube videos. I just give myself time to finish up my unproductivity, so that I could keep myself moving throughout the day. --but of course, the real magic happens when I step into the car, on the way to school.

I LISTEN TO CANTONESE MUSIC ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL.

I feel that Cantonese is my "productivity" language. Not in a sense that I'm more productive when I speak in Cantonese, because, well.. I can't speak Cantonese (yet! *wink*), but there's something about Cantonese that excites my blood cells, and makes me want to be bright and awesome. Cantonese music makes me feel better about myself.

That's my current favorite song. The title in English is, No Power Is The Disaster. Again, I don't speak Cantonese, but I'm inclined to feeling that it's a motivating happy song. Yat Lok Yat Ceot (2013, my goodness!) is also a go-to song. It was the first Cantonese song I bought from the Apple Music store, and it will always have a special place in my heart.

Another thing is that I'm starting to really love mondays. I used to struggle with liking mondays, but now, it's pretty much my favorite day of the school week.. And I'm not just saying that because mondays (and only mondays) are when Surgery Dad, who's really generous with compliments, is on duty at clinics. I don't know. It's just an extra dose of motivation, having a clinical instructor who makes you feel like a superstar-- it makes you extra eager to strive harder, just to get a bit closer to mastery.

I'm normally a very disorganized person, but I've been trying my best to up the organization by actually keeping and updating my agenda. My old strategy was to plan for the entire week-- that was until I realized that when one plan doesn't push through, I get dragged down so easily, that the succeeding days don't have a positive entrance. Now, I only plan for two days, and when that's done, I plan again. So basically, what I'm trying to say is that it's monday today, but I have absolutely no idea what in the world I'll be doing on wednesday.

Let me reiterate that I'm a very disorganized person, but I think that I could bump up the organization by just bringing the bare necessities in my bag. I still have a long way to go, but I think that even just trying to get organized is a step towards the right direction.

My so-called make-up game has somewhat stabilized. Unfortunately, there isn't much to it aside from some sort of foundation (today, it was just BB cream), eyeliner, mascara, eyebrow powder and lipstick. I miss having the luxury of time and energy to actually doll up.:(

blurry photo-- the car was moving

If I had it my way, I'd have time to do a little bit of highlighting and contouring, which are actually two of the most fun things to do in my entire make-up ritual, but oh well. Maybe when I have everything in order, I'll be able to do that, but for now.. No. :(

Ohhh, I went on a Jollibee binge today. The maid's sick at the moment, so I wasn't able to get my "nutritious food" fix today, and probably won't be able to, for two more days. What I had at school was absolute junk, and what I had after was even more junk-- but hey, it was Jollibee, so it was worth it.

Adobo flakes yum burger

Ooookay.. Jollibee is like the Filipino fast food chain. Currently they sell these limited edition adobo flakes yum burgers, in line with Philippine Independence Day (last month, hehe). Adobo is the unofficial national dish of the Philippines, and it's basically meat marinated in soy sauce, vinegar, and garlic, and then cooked with peppercorns, bay leaves, and even more garlic. Up until recently, I never imagined adobo in a burger. 

yummy

The burger was.. Interesting. It was yummy, but there was part of me that just couldn't wrap my head around the idea of adobo in a burger. Adobo's usually taken with rice. It was good, but it's not the type of burger I'd want to have every day for the rest of my fast-food eating life (McDonald's cheeseburger, I'm looking at you). The burger was really saucy. I have to be honest-- the adobo inside the burger was definitely not the adobo I'm used to. Then again, adobo can be made in a multitude of ways, depending on the region, so maybe I just have to figure out what provincial style the Jollibee adobo was made in. Oh.. Yes, you should try it.

Hmm.. It was really nice catching up with you, here on the blog.:)

PLEASE SEND ME LOVE.

Corine Magenta

Fruit :)

I went on a mini fruit haul today!

fruit haul

I've been reflecting on my food choices lately, and I've come to realize that I haven't been eating things that are necessarily healthful. I've been eating hell of a lot of rice, which is good, but when it comes to viands, I've been filling myself up with meat, and regrettably, a lot of it has been processed. I've also been eating a lot of sodium-rich junk food, which I'm sure is responsible for my crazy bloating. I haven't been eating the best food lately, and it really sucks.

I've been so tired all the time, and my skin hasn't been at its best, so I figured that it must be what I've been eating, because truth be told, neither my sleeping habits nor my skin care routine have been altered. While sure, it's the time of the month, and hormones are going crazy, but I've never had a period that has made me this tired, or this ugly. I just don't feel my best, that's all. And I blame all the junk food.

Now, I'm really not a fruit person. I'm not a sweets person either. Given a choice, I'd much rather have grilled eggplant or something over apples or oranges. If this weren't a skin thing, I probably would have gone to the vegetable section of the supermarket instead. I'm just not the type to be "in love" with fruit unless it's dragonfruit or coconuts. I tried juicing for a while, but it didn't really hold up. It was just fun forcing fruits down the receiving tube, but that was just about it.

I never really realized how expensive fruit is. I know that I live in the Philippines, with natural resources and all, but please, I live in Metropolitan Manila, the capital. The closest "fruit source" here is about 45 minutes away, and they only have pineapples there. Before coming to Metropolitan Manila, fruits have to get loaded into big trucks, and hauled through highways, from provinces and provinces. When the fruits get here, they're not as fresh as they should be, and they're quite expensive. Either way, I lose.:(

Well anyway, I decided to buy them anyway.

I have an interesting relationship with soursops. In Filipino (Tagalog), and I'm guessing in Spanish as well, it's called guyabano. When I was younger, I really liked instant guyabano juice, but now that I've been able to eat the actual fruit, I'm not sure I like it very much.

It's not the first time I've attempted to eat guyabano. Probably about a year ago, I bought one from the supermarket, but I hated it, but only before realizing that I opened it up before it had ripened enough. Today, I made sure that mine was ripe. I didn't hate it, but let's just say that I finished half of it, and gave the rest to the maid. I remember my grandparents really liking guyabano when they were alive, and now that I think about it, I'm really starting to wonder why.

I would have gotten sugar apples (atis) instead, but the ones at the supermarket were pretty hard and unripe, so I passed, but it I had the chance, I would have gotten sugar apples instead.. because sugar apples are the best.

I came across a mutant orange today. I swear the internet has ruined me, because the first thing I thought of when I saw it wasn't exactly something you'd expect to think of when you see fruit. I don't know. Have I just been corrupted, or does it really look like something?

Tell me what you think it looks like. I dare you.

I don't like oranges. I hate how the skin is so thin, and whatever fruity goodness is inside is almost always sour. I prefer mandarin oranges-- little adorable sweet things, easy to peel, yo.

I had half a honeydew today, and a few longans, and well, they were good, nothing special. I was too full to have anything for dinner, and to be honest, I was too tired to eat anything else.:(

Errrrr... That's it?

Corine Magenta