MAKE ME UP (before I lose my mind).

It's been three days short of a month since the semester started (my oh my, where did the time go?), and since then, I haven't been feeling much like myself. I've been so sleepy, so hungry, and so tired. I've been sleeping a good number of hours, I've been eating well, and I've been getting what I believe is enough rest; but it's like there's this inner tiredness that's just eating me up.

I've been feeling rather bitchy. Oh bitchy. What an ugly, yet so vague, word. If I'm going to trash-talk anyone, including myself, in what let alone is my own space, I think I can afford to be actually act like an educated person by actually being descriptive. Okay, here's the thing-- I've been feeling vile, unpleasant and downright mean.

My emotions have been so unstable, that just last week, I cried while Dr. San Luis was asking me about one of my cases. I also happened to be extra moody when Justin, the Clinicians' Club President, tried to cheer me up when I was frustrated that a patient couldn't make it. Even my Clinic I chairmate had to suffer my meanness after I scolded her because of monitor duties. SERIOUSLY, the stressed-out me isn't a person I necessarily like. I somewhat feel like I'm getting eaten up by a terrible hormone-monster, and that if I don't feed myself with mega-doses of love an happiness, I would just crumble from the inside.

I know that this is a very lame attempt at "cheering myself up", but tonight, I decided to a little bit of pampering. I haven't been doing a lot of fun things lately, so I guess this is a good start to my "regaining" my sense of self (so deep).

New make-up!

I've been all about the department store brands (some people call them drugstore brands) lately. My favorites being L'Oreal and Maybelline. I know I don't really talk about the department store brands so much, but I love them as much as the next guy girl. While yes, there will be hits and misses, we can talk about them some other day.

I ran out of my Maybelline Super BB Cream just a few days ago, so I decided to try the L'Oreal True Match BB Cream today. I was rather iffy about it because it only comes in one shade. Seriously, one shade! I'm your typical Southeast Asian with typical Southeast Asian skin, so you could really understand why this worried me a bit. Of course, I tried it on, and while it did turn out well, I've yet to actually perform a road test. 

I also bought myself a really interesting brow kit, Fashion Brow from Maybelline. It has three pans-- one wax, and two powders. Apparently it's a brow and nose palette. Hmm. Interesting.

I also got myself a pot of Maybelline Eye Studio Color Tattoo 24HR in the shade Inked in Pink. I know that I have too many eyeshadows, and too many eyeshadow palettes, but I like to believe that this one's special. I want something that I can wear to school without looking or feeling too made-up. I've gone to school in full-on eyeshadow in the past, and it wasn't exactly pleasant. I want something quick, light, but rather pronounced. Oh you know what, I was actually initially eyeing a MAC Paint Pot, but um. No thanks.:)

I tried on a few eyeliners. All Maybelline or L'Oreal. While I happened to really like them, I somehow managed to stop myself, as I'm only halfway through my current one, and I have another pen eyeliner as backup. The same goes for mascara-- all from my mini-haul in Hong Kong a few months ago. Maybelline and L'Oreal have been stepping up their games, I feel. I think I could even come up with a list of the things I want to try. 

What I won't be trying, however is the Maybelline brow powder in the pen packaging. I tried it on, and it honestly looked and felt like dirt. Well you know, like I said earlier-- hits and misses, hits and misses. 

Oh, guess what-- I also had my eyebrows threaded! I'm simply unskilled with the razor, I'm too much of a wuss to do the job myself with tweezers, and eyebrow waxing scared the hell out of me, so yes, ultimately, brow threading is my way to go.

Really pathetic brow situration :(

I'm not blessed at all with nice brows, but I like to think that I'm doing the best I could.

Oh wait, I just had an epiphany--

I'm not blessed with multitasking skills, but I like to think that I'm doing the best I could.

Okay, I feel better now.:)

Corine Magenta

That "BLOOMING" Make-Up Look.

I've been "busy" shopping(?!) at the 107th Philippine Dental Association Annual Convention these past few days. It was only yesterday that I didn't go, because it started to rain hard right when I was about to leave the house. I've been beyond flattered that my ex-schoolmates from Manila whom I haven't seen in years have said really nice things about how I look. I'm about 20% chubbier now since they've last seen me, and while I thought I'd get a lot of ridicule from that, I've come to realize that in order to allow people to see what's good in me, it it I who has to see it first. 

While this whole "blooming" thing does have a little bit to do with the fact that I'm in a much better and happier place in life right now in spite of a few diagnoses here and there, while it does have something to do with the fact that I've stopped being your typical angry person who wants nothing but to outshine everyone, and while it does involve the simple act of making a conscious effort to be genuinely happy from the inside, I really can't lie-- It's make-up. And a whole lot of it.

The last time my ex-schoolmates saw me, I didn't know how to do my brows, I didn't know how to blend eyeshadow (no wait, I didn't even know how to put on eyeshadow), I didn't know how to contour.. The list of things I didn't know how to do properly (or simply did not know how to do, period) pretty much goes on. I also fell victim to really ridiculous, cringe-worthy, and downright embarrassing make-up mistakes that I simply don't even want to look back on (ie. using the wrong BB cream, using black mascara on my brows, using too light face powder). It's really easy to change for the better after having a past that horrible.

Call me conceited or whatever you like, it's okay, because I really can't shake off the butterflies in my tummy! People have been so nice and so sweet, I can't even explain it. I can't explain it, so let me just share it.. By sharing my make-up look.:) I'm not really the best person to give you make-up tutorials, as I'm still learning the ropes myself, so I'll probably just start with telling everyone what's I put on my face today.




You'll see that I have a mix of products from different price ranges. Let me tell you that my mix is very real. We have drugstore brands, higher end brands, Korean brands, mid-ranger brands, Japanese drugstore brands, US drugstore brands-- the only brands I'll never use are the luxury brands, and it's mainly because I can never justify spending that much money on anything.

The make-up standouts for me are the Maybelline Super BB Cream and the Maybelline Dream Satin Skin Foundation-- I've found that using a make-up sponge over a stippling brush is actually better, and makes the skin look natural. It's also nice not having make-up run over to your collar, haha. The Heroine Make mascara, and the liquid eyeliner, both part of a set I purchased abroad, have totally cemented my trust in Japanese cosmetics (though I'll be honest-- Japanese cosmetics are expensive in the Philippines, so my Japanese cosmetics love won't progress).

I don't think I need to explain much on my fondness for the Urban Decay Naked 3 palette. I know how late I am to the party, but I had just gotten this last month, and I'm actually still experimenting with eye looks. For this look though, I think I used five shades. In no particular order: Strange, Dust, Burnout, Liar, Factory, Mugshot, Limit. Oh, I actually used seven shades. My goodness.

Soooo.. This is me without the arrows.



I'm not the happiest person, I don't have the most extensive make-up collection, I'm not exactly a head-turner, but you know what makes me feel "blooming"? It's knowing that even after a few storms here and there, I stuck around to see the rainbow. Having made the active decision to actually stay alive, even when it was difficult, is my achievement. That's where I pull my confidence from, that's what makes me feel "blooming".

Okay, let's all bloom. Together.

Corine Magenta