DEFINITIVE RANKING OF WHAT MY PATIENTS CALL ME.

Long time no blog is definitely an understatement, and calling it an understatement is an understatement in itself. Wait is it even possible to understate an understatement? Anyway, I wish I had a better excuse for not writing so much over the past few weeks. You'd think that since I'm a senior, I should be better at time management. Damn it.

Sunday nights are usually reserved for calling or SMS-ing patients just to check on them, and to possibly schedule them for the coming week. I nickname this little phase as patient ordering. I know the word ordering feels so off, considering that I use the same term when I try to order food. Yes, I try to order my patients on Sundays, follow up a day before I want them to come in, and panic thirty minutes before their actual schedules. It's my thing, yo.

One thing I've noticed when I order patients is that I get called a whole variety of different things-- from the very affectionate anak, to the confidence-boosting doctora, down to the sometimes-insulting neng. In dental school, we treat patients, thereby exercising duties of doctors, but at the same time, we're not doctors yet, so it's really natural for patients to be confused as to what they should call us. Anyway, here's a definitive ranking of what my patients call me.

No, don't worry, there's no psst here :)

1. DOCTORA (Single Complete, 2016).

Okay, I know, I know.. I know it's presumptuous and assuming to actually respond to "Doctora", and believe me, I used to beg my patients to not call me that. I only started embracing "Doctora" when my Single Complete Denture patient started calling me that after saying "Doon na rin naman papunta yun (that's where it's leading to anyway)". I realized something-- My patients call me Doctora, because they believe in me. My patients have high expectations of me, and each time I get called that is a challenge to deliver well, with the exact same quality that a legitimate Doctora should. 

Oh, by the way, Doctora (abbreviated as Dra.) is not a legitimate title in the Philippines. It's a title in Spanish, of which the Philippines used to be a colony of. Modern-day official documents will never have Dra. written on them. It might work if sentences were written in Filipino (ex. Si Dra. Corine ay ilusyonada), but it simply isn't an accepted title. The only reason why Doctora is in the vocabulary of the common Filipino is because it's a linguistic remnant from decades ago.

2. ANAK KO (Compre Perio, 2016).

Anak, in Filipino (and Bahasa Indonesia.. and Bahasa Melayu..), means child. It's really normal for older people to refer to youngsters as anak, but when patients add ko ("mine") at the end, as in anak ko, it's extra special.<3 

Then again, the whole anak and anak ko situation is probably no surprise since we tend to call our older patients Nanay or Tatay (mother/father, kind of like how Koreans call older people ahjumma or ahjussi). Oh wait, some patients, I call Tita or Tito (aunt/uncle)-- because frankly, I have too many nanay- and tatay-patients already. Hahaha.

3. GANDA (RPD + Compre Resto [plus her friends!], 2016).

Oh my Corine, I actually get referred to as "beautiful", would you believe that?!

Calling someone "ganda" is pretty much the equivalent of bella in "Ciao bella".

This started when my friend, Johanna, and I started accepting patients from the housekeeping staff at UPHSD. I don't really remember the actual specifics of how the lovely housekeeping ladies of the college rest room became our patients, but I remember exiting a lavatory stall, and my now-patient turned to her co-worker, and said, "Huy, andito si ganda o." (Hey, ganda's here).

Does being called ganda appeal to my vanity? Of course it does! When I get called ganda, I actually feel beautiful. I try to put a lid on my vanity, and not let it get in my head too much, but when somebody looks at you and sees a beautiful person, you can tell that they're looking at you the way God intended you to be looked at-- and when you keep that in mind, you just end up cheerful the whole day because.. Well, just because. :)

4. ATE (All patients who are younger than me, forever).

Ate means older sister, but in Filipino, it can be used to any older female. In Chinese, this is Ah Jie. The Bahasa version for this is Kakak, except that Kakak is more gender-neutral. The male version for Ate is Kuya. Ate is what I get most commonly referred to as a clinician, and this is pretty much the vocalization of how many patients are confused as to what to call their clinicians. Please. I have a patient who is a Maritime Engineering student who calls me Ate even though he's 12 years older than me-- you can't beat that, really! 

In one of the tea sessions during IDEM in Singapore, Dr. Ray Williams of UNC said that when he meets patients, he goes like, "I'm Ray", rather than "I'm Dr. Ray", and it's so that the patient would be more open to telling the clinician what the problem is. I've been called Ate for so long, but never really realized that my patients really are open to me, until I heard Dr. Williams mention it. Being called Ate diminishes the "I'm the (student)-doctor here, and you're the patient." barrier. If barrier-diminishing isn't enough, I'm guessing that patients are more secure and open when they can tell that they have an Ate who truly cares. <3

5. MA'AM (Complete Denture, 2016).

Hahahaha. Okay, one of the most awkward things a patient has ever called me would definitely be Ma'am, especially since the patient who calls me that is a lot older than me. Hahahaha! 

Well, I've had patients studying Criminology or Maritime Engineering who have called me that once or twice, but I never took it really seriously with them, because they're pretty much trained to call people Ma'am and Sir on a regular basis, because of the "ranky" nature of the programs they're in, and it's most especially if they're ROTC-affiliated students, so when Crim or MARE students call me Ma'am, I often just dismiss it as a slips of the tongue here and there. 

Ma'am makes me cringe. It makes me feel like a boss (okay, considering #girlboss, it might not be so bad..), or a teacher, or maybe.. A married woman, yikes! My patients aren't my subordinates, I'm not their subordinates either. Ma'am is awkward. It just is.

6. BHE/ BEH/ BEBE (RPD + Compre Resto, 2016; Ex-Compre Perio, 2015).

So far, I've only had two patients call me Bhe (plus all its other spellings). It's almost a shortcut for bebe, which means baby, but because of how language just evolves, Bhe is starting to be an acceptable way to refer to your friends. It's almost like "girl" in "Hey girl, whatcha doin'?". I'm coming to terms with accepting Bhe as the "older person talking to a younger person" version of Ate. --and yes, Bhe is warming up to me.:)

..but if a male would ever dare to call me Bhe, then it would be a problem.

7. NENG, or any variants of (ex-Endo, 2015).

Let me tell you something-- There is nothing that can easily mess up my relationship with a patient faster than being called Neng, Ne, Ineng, or any other word that is used to refer to a pre-pubescent girl. Neng is something you'd call a little girl. I can't think of any other word in American English that could compare, but the closest would probably be Ah girl in Singlish.

When I get called Neng, I feel that I'm seen as a little girl who wants to hurry home and go play with her dolls. Although I appreciate the tiny injection of youthfulness that comes with being called Neng, it's simply not appropriate anymore, as I'm a twentysomething woman, and the patient who first called me that is a middle-aged male. Don't even get me started on how inappropriate it is in the clinical set-up. Hahaha.


Errrr.. That's it?

How CD-Father Got Rid of the CD-Hater.

"I hate prostho." Can anybody tell me how many times I have verbalized these immortal words? Too many times, I feel. Well, I'm writing this to tell the world (more like, my three readers, hahaha) that I AM A CHANGED WOMAN. I don't hate Complete Denture Prosthodontics anymore.:)

I don't even know where my CD-hatred (and general Prosthodontics-hatred, to be frank) came from-- because when I was in second year, I performed relatively well in both RPD and CD. Let's not talk about FPD, because I failed that subject on the first try. Most people hate certain dental disciplines because of traumatic experiences, difficulty, or general disinterest, but me? I think the reason why I hated it was because I didn't understand it very well, and was probably too arrogant to admit it to myself.

Let's just say that life is really generous at giving chances.

I decided to discuss my CD3 yesterday. I had originally wanted to discuss with the Chief of Clinics, Dr. Esporlas, but because everybody wanted to discuss with him, and that all slots were pretty much full, I decided to ask the Dean, Dr. Alforja. He said yes, yay!

Confession Room

I'd rather not go into detail about all the things I've learned, because frankly, I learned so much, that I don't even know where to start anymore!:) Frankly, if I were to enumerate each and every little thing, this blog post would seriously look like a lecture.

I could go on and on about Complete Denture, but maybe, the biggest takeaway I have for you is that when you hate a certain discipline, whether it would be in Dentistry, or wherever, you just need to find yourself a good teacher, who genuinely loves the subject matter. Sometimes, just sometimes, their love is enough to cancel out your hatred, and then you end up liking something you've never expected to even be genuinely interested in. --and yes, that's exactly how Dr. Alforja got rid of the Complete Denture hater.:)

I have a tip for everyone, and it's actually a really point-blank in-your-face tip: DO NOT BE AN ARROGANT ARSEHOLE. There are several ways for a dental clinician to display arrogance, but I think the most unproductive and self-destructive type of arrogance is when you declare hatred for a certain subject simply because it cannot accommodate your impatience to actually understand it. Yes, take it from me. Take it from the human who dodged Prosthodontics for so many semesters, therefore ending up retained (and retained.. and retained..) in the clinics. If I had caught my Prostho-arrogance earlier on, I would have performed a very thorough self-examination starting with the question, Do I really hate Complete Denture, or do I just not understand it well enough? 

I also know that it's a little bit too late to say this, but in retrospect, I think I should have done better when I was taking Complete Denture as a pre-clinical class at my old school. Mind you, I did pretty well on that class, but apart from all the things I had passively memorized that somehow disappeared the moment I passed it, I really have nothing to show for it. See? It really doesn't matter if you've passed a class if you can't really apply the things you've learned in a more practical sense. If I could back time, I would have milked the class as much as I could, because the truth is, lapses in learning and missed opportunities catch up with you. I'm lucky that I have Dr. Alforja and Dr. Esporlas to help fill in my lapses, but not everyone is as lucky as I am.

I still have a long way to go before actually being 100% confident with Complete Denture, but I'm a little bit more confident now, than I was before the discussion. I still have so much to learn, but you know what-- I'm actually happy, knowing that I still have so much to learn. I feel that when you recognize your need to learn more things, you're on the right to actually learning more things. It's an indication of actual interest. A few days ago, I wasn't interested at all, but now, all I want is to be pals with Complete Denture. :)

Oh wait, I have a really interesting story to share with you!

Remember how I told you that everyone wanted to discuss with Dr. Esporlas? Well, unknown to my Clinic 1 sisters, Dr. Esporlas was cooking up a secret plan. I only learned about this from my sizzums, but apparently, Dr. Esporlas led them to the Confession Room, and told them that he'd be there shortly, and then all of a sudden, it was actually Dr. Alforja who came in. They thought that the Dean was just passing by, or that he was just pranking them.

Me, Dr. Esporlas, and the Clinic 1 sizzums <3

It wasn't what my sissies bargained for-- they got a whole lot more :)

I BELIEVE IN DYCAL.

I was working on my Comprehensive Restorative Case today. I had to re-do existing restorations because of recurrent caries that have taken place, and of course, discoloration here and there, you know, the whole enchilada. It was a really critical area, because the teeth in question are maxillary central incisors, and the patient has already been mentioning how displeased she has been being with the appearance. I restored one surface (21-MI) last friday, and today, I had to dive into the rest-- Okay, 11- MI, P/L, D and 22- P/L, D.

When I discussed the Comprehensive Case, I was already warned. I was warned that the caries would be deep. I was even asked to run endo diagnostics just to rule out pulp necrosis (ruled out, obvs!) and to make sure that the teeth are vital (oh yes, they are!). I was warned that I'd have a difficult time. I listened, but because I am stubborn, I stuck with the case. For this case, I found prepping a little bit challenging. In Restorative Dentistry, we can classify caries as simple, compound, and complex. I didn't realize it then, but what I had on my chair was a patient with two teeth with complex caries, and the fact that I had to deal with recurrent caries blows my mind.

Today, I did my first every restorative case of the scary type. During caries removal of my lingual-slash-palatal recurrent caries over at tooth #11, I found that I was getting really close to the pulp. It was the first time I've ever seen a pulp exposure waiting to happen. I thought the pink would be some spread-out pinkness, but as it turned out, it was only just a line-- which makes sense, because the pulp kind of looks like a line. I don't know. The fact that 1mm of recklessness could mean the difference between a restorative case, and an endodontic case. I knew I had to be extra careful.


Enter Calcium Hydroxide.

I'm not even sure if this is the correct chemical structure for Dycal, but let's just pretend that it is.
Oh, and.. Thanks Google.

It wasn't too long ago that I was whining on Twitter about how Dycal used to be significantly cheaper when I was in Clinic 1 (and considering that I'm a megasenior who incurred a partial-reset in her Dentistry life, it's really safe to assume that "When I was in Clinic 1" was a long time ago). When I was in Clinic 1, Dycal was Php760, in the purple box; and when I bought Dycal again last month, it was about Php960(?), but in a different colored box.

I actually like the new Dycal. I used to hear horror stories about how Dycal sets too fast, and that some people would mix it inside the cavity preparation. With the expensive Dycal, I didn't have too much of a difficult time mixing and dispensing. Whatever magic secret ingredient the expensive Dycal has, it's good.:) I don't want to sound like an endorser or what, but I would have lost my head if not of Dycal. DYCAL IS AWESOME.

..but let me tell you something that's slightly more awesome than Dycal-- Faith. You know what, sometimes, no wait-- most of the time, it's so easy to allow yourself to be eaten up by obscurity and self-doubt. I know that I'm in no position to be all preachy about self-confidence, as I myself have only just rediscovered it, but maybe, just maybe we can all gain a little something better and brighter from having faith in ourselves. Okay, I'm by no means an excellent student, but I scored four 100s today (one in Oral Surgery, three in Restorative), just let that be enough motivation for you to believe in yourself.

I believe in myself, I believe in Dycal.
Okay, I'm out.:)

By the way, if you're confused as to what I mean by Restorative Dentistry, I mean fillings. In other parts of the world, it's called Operative Dentistry.

Corine Magenta

Growing up together + Cantonese music + disorganization + make-up game + JOLLIBEE BINGE

I'm starting to feel that my blogs are starting to become frustratingly difficult to relate to, nowadays. What ever happened to the Corine Magenta who loves lipstick? Hmm. I still love lipstick and all them beauty things, but I don't know, I'm at this stage (ooohhh, a stage) that's heavily characterized by a gradual shift in priorities. I don't know, I feel calibrated to some extent. Maybe this is me finally growing up a little bit more. It is about time, after all.. Because I've finally realized how old I am. It's okay though, because at least we all get to grow up together. <3

Together is more fun anyway.

I've mentioned on previous posts that I've been adjusting to a new waking time, and yay, I've been being able to stick with it. Please, present perfect tense, because I'm just that optimistic!:) When I wake up in the morning, I give myself about 30 minutes to just roll in bed, just to process things. I drink a glass of water, I watch a few YouTube videos. I just give myself time to finish up my unproductivity, so that I could keep myself moving throughout the day. --but of course, the real magic happens when I step into the car, on the way to school.

I LISTEN TO CANTONESE MUSIC ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL.

I feel that Cantonese is my "productivity" language. Not in a sense that I'm more productive when I speak in Cantonese, because, well.. I can't speak Cantonese (yet! *wink*), but there's something about Cantonese that excites my blood cells, and makes me want to be bright and awesome. Cantonese music makes me feel better about myself.

That's my current favorite song. The title in English is, No Power Is The Disaster. Again, I don't speak Cantonese, but I'm inclined to feeling that it's a motivating happy song. Yat Lok Yat Ceot (2013, my goodness!) is also a go-to song. It was the first Cantonese song I bought from the Apple Music store, and it will always have a special place in my heart.

Another thing is that I'm starting to really love mondays. I used to struggle with liking mondays, but now, it's pretty much my favorite day of the school week.. And I'm not just saying that because mondays (and only mondays) are when Surgery Dad, who's really generous with compliments, is on duty at clinics. I don't know. It's just an extra dose of motivation, having a clinical instructor who makes you feel like a superstar-- it makes you extra eager to strive harder, just to get a bit closer to mastery.

I'm normally a very disorganized person, but I've been trying my best to up the organization by actually keeping and updating my agenda. My old strategy was to plan for the entire week-- that was until I realized that when one plan doesn't push through, I get dragged down so easily, that the succeeding days don't have a positive entrance. Now, I only plan for two days, and when that's done, I plan again. So basically, what I'm trying to say is that it's monday today, but I have absolutely no idea what in the world I'll be doing on wednesday.

Let me reiterate that I'm a very disorganized person, but I think that I could bump up the organization by just bringing the bare necessities in my bag. I still have a long way to go, but I think that even just trying to get organized is a step towards the right direction.

My so-called make-up game has somewhat stabilized. Unfortunately, there isn't much to it aside from some sort of foundation (today, it was just BB cream), eyeliner, mascara, eyebrow powder and lipstick. I miss having the luxury of time and energy to actually doll up.:(

blurry photo-- the car was moving

If I had it my way, I'd have time to do a little bit of highlighting and contouring, which are actually two of the most fun things to do in my entire make-up ritual, but oh well. Maybe when I have everything in order, I'll be able to do that, but for now.. No. :(

Ohhh, I went on a Jollibee binge today. The maid's sick at the moment, so I wasn't able to get my "nutritious food" fix today, and probably won't be able to, for two more days. What I had at school was absolute junk, and what I had after was even more junk-- but hey, it was Jollibee, so it was worth it.

Adobo flakes yum burger

Ooookay.. Jollibee is like the Filipino fast food chain. Currently they sell these limited edition adobo flakes yum burgers, in line with Philippine Independence Day (last month, hehe). Adobo is the unofficial national dish of the Philippines, and it's basically meat marinated in soy sauce, vinegar, and garlic, and then cooked with peppercorns, bay leaves, and even more garlic. Up until recently, I never imagined adobo in a burger. 

yummy

The burger was.. Interesting. It was yummy, but there was part of me that just couldn't wrap my head around the idea of adobo in a burger. Adobo's usually taken with rice. It was good, but it's not the type of burger I'd want to have every day for the rest of my fast-food eating life (McDonald's cheeseburger, I'm looking at you). The burger was really saucy. I have to be honest-- the adobo inside the burger was definitely not the adobo I'm used to. Then again, adobo can be made in a multitude of ways, depending on the region, so maybe I just have to figure out what provincial style the Jollibee adobo was made in. Oh.. Yes, you should try it.

Hmm.. It was really nice catching up with you, here on the blog.:)

PLEASE SEND ME LOVE.

Corine Magenta

STRESS.

This week hasn't exactly been the best. While I did have a great start by doing an odontectomy last Monday, the rest of the week has been physically and emotionally (but mostly physically) demanding. I shouldn't be stressing too much over it, because it is the time of the month, and pre-existing medical conditions pretty much send my hormone-associated symptoms on overdrive. I've just been really tired this week, and my oh my. My.

It's been starting to rain here and there. Philippine monsoons typically start in May or June, but this year, it's a little bit late. Considering the fact that it's pretty much wrecking our school schedules, I think we're still blessed as a nation, in general, because at least nothing too horrible has stricken (yet). When typhoons come, classes usually get suspended, and when that happens, school kids everywhere (except maybe dental clinicians) are happy when school gets cancelled, but now that I'm older, I think I've realized how wrong that kind of mentality is, especially when you think about old people who have to use public transportation in the pouring rain.

--and that's exactly why my patient didn't make it today.

Hmm.

School was cancelled at around 12:00NN. My original schedule involved performing intraoral photography on my Complete Denture patient, but since she couldn't make it, I decided to proceed to Plan B, which was actually doing research work. The Chief of Clinics pretty much stopped me, and told me to work on my non-patient procedures, which I happily obliged to.:) I realized that everything works out after all, and I couldn't be happier. I realized that I need to work more on my amalgam polishing skills. I polished three amalgam restorations today, and my clinical instructor only liked one. So yes, I do need to work harder!:)

While I have been able to accomplish most of my goals since the semester started, I'm still a bit sad that I haven't been able to accomplish them all. I know that there are some things that are beyond my control, such as inclement weather, and just yesterday, electric issues at school, but I don't know.. I'm under so much pressure, and whether or not that pressure is self-manufactured, I can't really tell anymore.

Electric issues at school.:(
--and yes, my parents were pretty upset when I told them about it.

This week has been generally stressful, but yesterday was the worst. I don't mean to rant, but the matriculation increased by Php10,000 (which is a lot by Philippine standard of living), and yet something like this happened. I won't even go into the fact that the ceiling was dripping today when it rained. Oh wait, I just did. I love my university, I love my teachers, I love all the things I'm learning-- but why won't the school love me back?:(

My feelings are pretty much on haywire because of my hormone issues, and at this point, it's really difficult to keep myself optimistic. The physical and emotional stress has just been tiring me out.

summary of all my feelings this week

I've been spending more time playing with our dogs this week. On a normal school week, I would have just said quick hellos and whatnot, but this week, I felt like I needed to really hug them as some form or de-stressing. Well, what can I say? Our dogs are amazing.<3

JJ and Me <3

I have a better photo with JJ on Instagram. I took this when I got home from my blacked-out university yesterday. I took a whole series of shots, and only a few of them turned out nicely because we both kept moving.:) Such a sweet dog, this JJ. 

We actually have two dogs, but the other one wasn't really in the mood to play yesterday, so he didn't get to take pictures with me and JJ by the pool.

Oh, I got new specs yesterday. I'm actually supposed to be a glasses-wearer, but with every pair of glasses, there'd always be something unsatisfactory about it.. Frames would break, or the lenses wouldn't work for me for very long. My last refraction was more than a year ago, and when the optometrist I went to yesterday checked me again, she noticed that the reading for my right eye was completely off from my previous prescription. It's okay though, because this new prescription is perfect.

Snoe and Me!

It took me a while to actually select which frame I wanted. I would have gone for a half-rimmed frame, but since my left lens was so thin, it wouldn't have been the best option for me, because then the lens would easily break-- and there's no way I'd be okay with breaking a multicoated lens. 

Oh, fun fact, by the way-- when I was starting to enrol for college at CEU, I chose Dentistry as my first choice program, and Optometry second, but that was almost completely random, I could have written Optometry first and Dentistry second. If I had gone into Optometry, I still would have been just as happy about it.. but of course, if I had gone into Optometry, I wouldn't be the same person. Believe me.

I'm just happy that this week has ended. I intend to rest really well this weekend.:)

MAKE-UP for When You Feel Like a Haggard Mess.

The first few days of school are always the hardest. I'm not exactly talking about the academic side of things, because at this point of the semester, syllabi are geared towards introductions more than actual hard stuff. I say that the first few days of school are like this because it's usually at this point in time wherein we have to train ourselves to get used to new routines, new policies, new schedules and other stuff.

I'm really okay with change. The adjustment part is just a little bit tricky.

Speaking of change, I'm trying my best to start my day earlier. I'm really not a morning person, so yes, this is a challenge. I also haven't been sleeping very well since school started, for reasons that I really don't know. It's only been like, what, four days(?), but the sleeping hours reduction has been taking its toll on my body, in a sense that my digestion hasn't been at its best, my brain has been feeling foggy, my skin has been horrible, and I'm not as emotionally resilient as I should be, especially when my patients can't make their appointments. I FEEL LIKE A ZOMBIE, REALLY.

You know how they say that beauty should come from the inside? Well, is there anything really wrong with fixing up the outside, when the inside is a haggard mess?

I used to do my make-up before leaving the house, but now, since I'm trying to get to school as early as I can, I've been foregoing make-up, and just leave it for when I have free time (at school). The thing is, I put make-up on to feel better about myself, especially when I need a little bit of internal cheering up-- and yes, today was one of those days.

My patient wasn't able to make it, because something came up. I didn't book a patient for the afternoon, and with my morning suddenly freeing up, I really didn't have anything to do.

I've been developing these really ugly eye bags. This isn't the first time I've had fewer-than-normal hours of sleep, but it is one of the first few times that I've actually had legit eye bags, in spite of my eyes puffing up every now and then. Now, I actually have the bags.

NEW RULE-- Look like be a haggard mess all you want,
but never stop looking for reasons to smile.

The worst part is that the bags are more obvious when I smile. Goodness.

I know you've seen these products time and time again, but the reason why I reach for these over and over is that they're really good. The products here are geared more towards skin care than actual beautifying. In this look, it's more about looking more awake, while nourishing the skin with all the good stuff.

very basic, really.

At this point, I'm really trying not to overload my face.

The real hero of my make-up is the NYX Full Coverage Concealer in the shade Yellow. Yes, really yellow. Yellow, because usually eye bags exhibit blue to purple pigmentation, and by virtue of the color wheel, yellow would neutralize the purple eye bags.

I look.. Traumatized.

I've never looked back since I've started applying under-eye concealer in an inverted triangle. It really beats applying it in curved streaks, or even dots. You can't really see the inverted triangle on my skin because the concealer color blends too much into the natural color my skin, but if you look closely over to where my purple eyebags should be, they actually look a little bit better.

--but obviously, you need to set it.

"ready to face the world", yo.

Make-up is such an awesome thing. It's not always about concealing what you really look like, and creating false beauty. Make-up enhances. It's, like, covering up the ugly that distracts from what's naturally beautiful. I started the day looking like a haggard mess, feeling really down about my patient not being able to make it, and after "putting my face on", and finally seeing the girl whom I actually like, I felt so much better. I felt amazing, and yes, feeling amazing just made the rest of my day fall into place. Positivity does wonders, I'm telling you.

Lots of love,

Corine Magenta

Oh wait, if you're wondering about my clinic day, considering that the patient I had scheduled for the day cancelled on the last minute-- I still didn't get my original patient to come, but I did find a new one.. A single CD + RPD patient. See? Everything works out.:)

Lots of love,

Clinician Corine Magenta

DAY TWO: Legit Final Year.

It's officially DAY TWO of my legit final year in Dentistry school. I've been in "4th year" on paper for quite some time, but this is actually the first time in a really long time that my clinic level is actually in sync with my actual year level!:) No longer am I "half-3rd year, half-4th year", this time, it's actually legit.:)

I haven't been blogging (here, at least!) for a few days now, and it's because my laptop charger broke down, and since Blogger doesn't have a mobile app, I only blog here when I'm on the computer. I wrote a little about it, and you can read it here!:)

I've been trying to keep myself busy by spending more time with patients, or if not, studying for case discussions. I never really was a stick to a schedule kind of person, so actually following through with plans is fairly new to me. I've kept planners in the past, and still keep one, but what I've noticed is that I allow unaccomplished plans drag everything else down. My goodness, that has got to stop.

my week, so far!

I've started writing on my planner in pencil. By writing in pencil, I could just easily erase whatever plans I'd have to move around. Seeing plans written in pens x-ed out is just depressing, easy erasing just keeps the positive vibes going on. Of course, I'm a legit senior now. I could use every bit of positivity I can give to myself.<3

..

I spent the first session of the day with my Comprehensive Perio patient. We had a little talk about inflammation. I decided to forego prophy today, because I had to re-orient myself first with the new Compre Perio protocol of the clinical division. Aside from that, I've also been feeling the need to modify the treatment plan to include a splint. I still have to consult with the new Perio professor (aka. Perio Dad).

props

My original treatment plan was an ideal one, but sometimes, problems just come seemingly out of nowhere. Conditions initially improve, and then they go the other way. I'm a little bit sad that I have to alter my treatment plan at this stage. I can't help but have these Am I not a good diagnostician? Am I not good, period? Why didn't I see this at the beginning? feelings, but I'm learning, so I probably shouldn't beat myself up about it. The patient's well-being is more important than my ego after all, so that's enough for me to see my treatment plan modification in a positive light.:)

..oh and my patient gave me a donut.<3

THE BATHROOM SITUATION AT MY SCHOOL HAS BECOME RIDICULOUS. 

It's the first year of the government's K-12 initiative, and my university has complied. UPHSD caters to students from pre-school to doctorate levels, and since our university is so tiny, we pretty much share the same space most of the time. Since K-12 has a provision for Senior High, the university had to make space for the new kids. I know it's really shallow to be ranting about this, but I find it really crazy that the university admitted hundreds of new students, but didn't add any new bathrooms. 

Me, at the bathroom near the male-dominated college.
NOBODY ELSE IN THERE!!!!

I know this is too much information, but I peed about eight times today, and only once was I able to successfully pee at the bathroom closest to the College of Dentistry. All the other seven times, I had to go up to a different college's building, or I had to use the bathroom at the auditorium (still another building away). THE BATHROOM IS ALWAYS FULL, AND IT'S CRAZY! I know that we have to be patient with the younger students, but I really don't understand why they use the bathroom as a social hall of some sort. I know that the bathroom is air-conditioned and all, but why would anyone want to stay in a room where people pee?

Hmm.. Okay, what else about my day?

Oh yeah, LUNCH!

You see, I had to buy a new laptop charger yesterday, and I spent so much of my money, and it threw my weekly budget way off. I'm not going to tell everyone how much (more like, how little) money I have in my wallet, but I feel that if I do, people would start asking me if I'm okay.

Well, I actually am okay! My maid packed a nice lunch for me-- paella and carrot cake.

don't worry about the hair on the photo, it was on the table, under the plastic container

I'd say that my home-cooked lunch is the sole positive thing I've gotten from my broke-ness. Well, aside from my new charger. My maid is an awesome cook. Enough said.:)

Oh, I also finally have a Comprehensive Restorative Case patient! I waited really long for one. At one point, I even declared that I felt that the reason why God hasn't given me one yet at that time was that I may have not been ready for it. I have one now, so yay!

"when much is given, much is expected."

Now I have to study, really really, really hard for my case discussion. Like I said, I waited really long to have a Compre Resto patient, that's why I fully intend to give my best preparing for it, and carrying out the treatment. I read Chapter 3 of Cawson's, which is actually a pathology book. I know I probably should have read a restorative dentistry book instead of a patho book, but I wanted to give myself a really good foundation for the treatment that I would (really soon!!!) carry out. 

If I say that I have it in the bag, or that I know the matter by heart, I'd totally be lying. I learned a few new things here and there, so yay, I feel like a winner already.

I wish all days would be like this (but more with more patients, hehe). I have to prepare myself for horrible days, but I need to arm myself with enough optimism to make even the horrible days better. Life is what we make it after all, right?

YEAH.

Corine Magenta.

LOCKER.

I go back to school on the 27th. Whether it's a good or bad thing, I can't really decide. I like that I have so much time to rest and to do things that I actually like, but I really hate that I feel that my brain cells are starting to shrivel up, almost to the point that I actually feel myself getting stupider and stupider (ad infinitum) as the days go by. I like to think that I find fulfilment in many other things aside from clinical work, but I guess I can't escape the truth that it's seeing blood and digging up deposits that give that extra kick. I haven't even been feeling like putting on make-up (!!!).

I claim to despise school, and maybe I actually do. I hate having to wake up early in the morning, I hate having to put on an unflattering uniform, I hate having to attend a crowded* university (oh by the way, my definition of crowded has dramatically changed), but you know what-- I love Oral Surgery, I love Periodontology, I like Restorative Dentistry. The positive greatly outweighs the double negative.

For about three months now, I've been intermittently obsessing over where one of my hand pieces went. I don't mean to brag, but I have three-- one NSK standard, one NSK mini-head (which I lent to one of my seniors after hers broke down), and one Kaso Medical standard push-type. The last time I used my push-type was around August, and it just "disappeared" since. I've always known that it was just inside my locker, but it was just excruciatingly excellent at hiding from me. --but as my intermittent obsession kept bothering me at more frequent intervals, I decided that this would be the day that I'd actively look for it.

Yes, today was the day that I'd actually fix my locker.



My primary intention was to take a big bag of convention freebies and supplies to school. Once July comes around, it wouldn't be very easy for me to bring so much things to school anymore, so I figured I'd do so now while it's a little bit more convenient.

I also thought that now would be the best time to do my locker-fixin' while the college was pretty much empty and I wouldn't have little Pre-Dental and Pre-Clinical kiddies coming up to me asking how much I've spent on all my equipment and supplies-- Okay, don't get me wrong, I'm not some cold-hearted senior who discourages younger students from asking questions, but it gets tiring after having to hear that question over and over again.. and you know, sometimes, I'm just not up for conversations. I'm also very iffy about answering questions and talking about money in general, as it sometimes feels like an invasion of privacy.. Unless I'm talking to a Chinese person, then it's fine.

You know what, I realized something--
Dammit, I have so much pink.



I think you could understand why it was so easy for me to "misplace" my "missing" handpiece-- the case is black, and it pretty much just blends in to the whole locker black hole.

I'm really really not a good example of locker organization, so if I were to be completely honest, right after I've located my "missing" handpiece, I just gathered all my stuff, shoved everything inside my locker, and prayed to God that an avalanche of dental instruments wouldn't fall on me the second I open my locker on the 27th.



"Fixing" my locker did me some good-- I found a few things that mysteriously went "missing". Okay, now I don't need to buy myself another matrix band retainer, I don't need to buy myself another spool of silk suture thread, I don't need to buy myself another this, another that. I've also found that I have a few extras and a few reserves of consumables that would probably last me another semester. Seriously, I'm thinking of coming up with an actual locker inventory system, just so I don't have to erroneously buy multiples of this and that. I'm a senior now. Whether I like it or not, I need to get my s*** together.

While I had my mess scattered on the college hallway, the Dean passed by. He started talking to me about how my friend from UP came by earlier today (I actually knew about that), and well.. Let's just say that I learn more and more about dental education as a philosophy and student management the more I talk to the Dean. Oh well. We go to school to learn, I didn't think I'd learn even before the actual start of the semester.

Sooo.. That's it?


Corine Magenta

PS. MORAL OF THE STORY: Don't be like me!

Class I Co LIFE LESSONS.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from the last week of the summer term is about self-confidence, in a sense that I should be generous in giving myself chances to improve. I’ve come to realize that in the past, I was being a meanie to myself by keeping that “Okay kiddo, an 80 is the best you can do, you’re never gonna get any better.”—and well, that's just wrong.

from the dentalsourceblog.com --THANK YOU!

During my first year at UPHSD, I was seriously struggling with Class I Co restorations, because the school that I transferred from didn't have that listed as a clinical requirement (at least, during my time), plus, considering that I was mostly out of the clinic on my last year at my old school due to a dark cloud hanging over my head, my manual dexterity was really off. My skills were underdeveloped as they were and they were stunted.

We have about 3 Class I Co (Amalgam is a completely different story) requirements in a clinic level-- 3, or 2, sorry, I really couldn't remember. When I started working with Co restorations, I was in Clinic II (second out of four clinic levels-- I completed Clinic I at my old school), and at that time, very special circumstances allowed me to do all the Class I Co's that I can, and to just have them credited over to the next clinic levels. 

I think know I tested my instructors' patience when I was working on my Class I Co's then. I did Co work on typodonts in the past, and did pretty well then, but it felt really different on live patients, and I was pretty much radiating I have no idea what I'm doing-vibes here, there, and everywhere, and it really did transcend to the restorations I was doing. My instructors taught me how to fix my mistakes, but it still didn't change the fact that on my own, my restorations were disastrous. My restorations were so bad, that I even had grades of 80-84. Because I seriously didn't think that I could ever improve, I decided to get those grades encoded. When something's "encoded", there's no turning back, you're stuck with that grade forever. Eventually, I was able to redeem myself. The last restorations have been earning grades ranging from 88 to 94, and while they've been encoded, my previous lower grades have already dragged them down. 

The other day, I performed four Class I Co's, and yesterday, three-- all on the same patient, but because I've already maxed out the Class I Co's that could be graded, these seven restorations don't bear credit anymore. In every essence, I did them for free, but it's fine, because doing them was part of my Prosthodontics treatment plan, and I had fun doing them anyway. When I had yesterday's work checked, my instructor said that my work was "pretty". I was really happy that I still had my face mask on, or else she would have seen my idiotic ear-to-ear smile.:) --Yup, I was that happy.

I no longer dared to ask what my grades would have been if my work had been creditable, but I think having my work described as pretty was enough.

So here's the thing-- Just because you're horrible at something today, it doesn't mean that you'll always be horrible at it. Before you can make other people believe in what you have to offer, you have to believe first. Allow yourself to grow, don't hinder yourself from being a better version of yourself. 

It's all gonna be okay. <3

RPD Discussion -- DONE!

Is it cheesy to say that I love Dentistry now more than I did yesterday (..but not as much as I will tomorrow)? I have massive Prosthodontics issues, and it's not that I dislike it, it's just that I don't feel that it likes me very much. I'm working on a brand new Removable Partial Denture case, and while you may think that I've said that too many times already, it actually feels real this time. Yes, this time. I really hope that in July or so, I'd be writing again, talking about the same case, telling everyone that I've finished. Oh my Lord, I really hope this happens.:)

Before actually starting procedures, we have to go through this thing called a Case Discussion, which is pretty much like a hybrid of a mini-defense and an actual situational analysis quiz. During the discussion, the clinician is pretty much expected to foresee all circumstances, and adjust treatments as necessary. Discussions are such a mix of theory and practical that during my case discussion today, I had to flip through pages of McCracken just to arrive at certain answers.

I did my case discussion along with my friend, Johanna. I think one of the reasons why we got through the discussion without sustaining any injuries (hehe) is that we really gave our personal bests in preparing. I invited her to my house the night before so that we could study and work on our case portfolios together. I like to believe that we prepared well.



We were both under Dr. Brian Esporlas. It really upped up the pressure to prepare well, because as he admits it himself, he really makes his victims clinicians think hard. Hmm, wait-- let me restate that: All our Clinical Instructors at school make us think hard, but discussions with Dr. Esporlas are unique because.. Well.. Just because. By the way, he has page numbers memorized, so it really is vital to read, read, read, and R E A D! :)



By the way, Clinical Instructors do wear white coats at school, but I took this photo during lunch hour, and no patients were inside.



You know how they say that reinforced positive behavior is repeated? -- here's a tip for you:
When you do something good, like when you're able to answer correctly, or when you come up with a correct RPD design, give yourself a few minutes to relax, to have fun, and to actually smile. Let your smile-minutes be your positive reinforcement so that whatever nice thing you accomplished, would actually stick. Trust me, it's legit. I heard it on a YouTube video. Everything on YouTube is legit. With the exception of things that aren't. Hahaha.



In the past, I've known myself to be Queen Discouragement. In previous case discussions, especially during my first year at UPHSD, I'd get so discouraged, and so sad that I'd actually cry. No, I'm serious-- I cried during my Anesthesiology PETE discussion, and my Complete Denture discussion, and I nearly did during my (first!) RPD discussion (the case wherein I had to let the patient go)-- and my professors were actually nice. I'm pretty sure that not everyone's as dramatic as I am, but mini-meltdowns are okay, as long as you pick yourself up quickly, and bounce back stronger.

In case discussions, you really need to leave your ego at the door. You need to be confident, but not arrogant. I know it's easier said than done, as I myself have my own set of pride issues.

PRIDE ISSUES

Attitude-wise, it's simply important to remember to not be an a-hole. Being an arrogant a-hole takes up so much energy, and it's energy you can use for better things (such as flipping through pages of McCracken).

During this RPD case discussion, I wanted to cry when I was asked to draw my design on paper. I had the design in mind, but I just didn't know how to draw it well. There simply aren't any *ArTiSaN* fibers in my chubby little body, soooo yeah. Thankfully, my Clinical Instructor helped me through it, and yay! I did it. --but there really is no way that I'm gonna post my RPD design drawing here on the blog, and it's mainly because I had trouble working the pencil, and once you see my utter lack of art skillzzz, you would lose all respect for me. I tell you.



I know I've sung my praises of my discussion-mate, Ate Johanna over on Instagram, but let me go right ahead and sing some more-- Sometimes, multiple clinicians want to discuss on a given day, but only one clinical instructor is available. When this happens, the clinicians have to do their case discussions at the same time. There really isn't much of a downside to it, except that your instructor might take a little bit longer to check two of everything-- I don't know, if you even consider that a down side.

"ATE" is used to address an older female in Filipino, kind of like how you say "ah jie" in Chinese. We also use it to refer to our seniors, kind of like "sunbae" in Korean. Here's the thing-- she's my ate by age, but I'm her ate by seniority.

If you need to have a discussionmate, find yourself a cheerful one. I can't really think of any sad clinicians at my school right now, but just go right ahead and pair up with someone who can complement your learning style. Look for someone who'd be generous in sharing what she knows, and would gladly accept what you know. I would have been lucky if I had Fhel, Ehm, Kim Kyle, Marvin, Justin.. or pretty much any one of the happy summer clinicians-- but by getting Johanna, I was extra lucky. And blessed. Definitely blessed. <3 The thing is, you grow with your co-clinicians, and isn't it just more fun to be happy while growing?

I'm five minutes closer to wrapping this up, but one thing that I want to reiterate, which might as well be the most important of all-- find yourself a good lipstick. I know that lipstick should be least of one's concerns when going off to war for a case discussion, but let your lipstick be your war paint, there's so much confidence to gain from wearing a good lip color. It's not always red, though. You can try fuchsia too.:)



Here's something interesting-- I posted a picture of myself trying on lipstick (yes, it's the L'Oreal one that I'm currently in love with) on Facebook. The next time I saw Dr. Brian, he asked me what shade it was because his wife wanted it as well. When I saw it on sale on BeautyMNL, I immediately sent the link to Dr. Brian's wife. --and yes, Dr. Ailene Esporlas now has L'Oreal Color Riche in Glamor Fuschia as well.

Today, Johanna and I are set on working on our wax patterns for our cases. I'll keep you posted!:)

Love always,
Corine Magenta

Love is PATIENT.

It's 1:00 AM of Wednesday, and I'm just about getting ready to get ready for bed! I have absolutely no idea where the day went-- but wait, maybe it is true that time flies when you're having fun. Well, maybe I just had an exceptionally awesome day because I started the day with my love love Periodontology.




I tell you-- the best clinic days are the days that I get to do Perio. :)

I'm on my 7th weekly recall on my Compre Perio case-- Okay, wait. I'm starting to feel that I'm lying to myself, still calling it weekly, when the last time my patient saw me was two weeks ago. Anyway, one more "weekly" recall, and we'll be off to the monthly recalls. On my old blog, I mentioned about wanting to jump back to the surgical phase because of failure of a few teeth to improve. I still want to jump back to the surgical phase, I just couldn't do it this term because the surgery cut-off has passed.

That's the thing with being a Dentistry student, especially when you reach the clinical years-- you want to think that you hold your own time, but in reality, you're nothing but a slave to your patients' schedules. Oh my goodness, slave seems kind of harsh and exaggerated, but of course, you get the idea. The truth is, life gets in the way, not only for you, but for your patients. While there are patients who give tons of excuses just to avoid their appointments (get rid of those patients the first chance you get!), there are patients who fall into unforeseen circumstances-- telling the two apart is a very crucial skill. While it's okay to be frustrated for a few minutes, it's always a good idea to keep calm and look for something else to do.

Sometimes, you also have to remember that for every non-compliant patient, faith and optimism will come at you with a really good patient who would make you love what you do (even more!). It's also fun appreciating patients as actual humans, and not just as requirements to be ticked off a list. You'll give them your skills, and they'll give you their trust.

..and when you love hard enough, you can sometimes get donuts too.:)



--but you know, donuts or no donuts, I love my patients just the same.<3