DEFINITIVE RANKING OF WHAT MY PATIENTS CALL ME.

Long time no blog is definitely an understatement, and calling it an understatement is an understatement in itself. Wait is it even possible to understate an understatement? Anyway, I wish I had a better excuse for not writing so much over the past few weeks. You'd think that since I'm a senior, I should be better at time management. Damn it.

Sunday nights are usually reserved for calling or SMS-ing patients just to check on them, and to possibly schedule them for the coming week. I nickname this little phase as patient ordering. I know the word ordering feels so off, considering that I use the same term when I try to order food. Yes, I try to order my patients on Sundays, follow up a day before I want them to come in, and panic thirty minutes before their actual schedules. It's my thing, yo.

One thing I've noticed when I order patients is that I get called a whole variety of different things-- from the very affectionate anak, to the confidence-boosting doctora, down to the sometimes-insulting neng. In dental school, we treat patients, thereby exercising duties of doctors, but at the same time, we're not doctors yet, so it's really natural for patients to be confused as to what they should call us. Anyway, here's a definitive ranking of what my patients call me.

No, don't worry, there's no psst here :)

1. DOCTORA (Single Complete, 2016).

Okay, I know, I know.. I know it's presumptuous and assuming to actually respond to "Doctora", and believe me, I used to beg my patients to not call me that. I only started embracing "Doctora" when my Single Complete Denture patient started calling me that after saying "Doon na rin naman papunta yun (that's where it's leading to anyway)". I realized something-- My patients call me Doctora, because they believe in me. My patients have high expectations of me, and each time I get called that is a challenge to deliver well, with the exact same quality that a legitimate Doctora should. 

Oh, by the way, Doctora (abbreviated as Dra.) is not a legitimate title in the Philippines. It's a title in Spanish, of which the Philippines used to be a colony of. Modern-day official documents will never have Dra. written on them. It might work if sentences were written in Filipino (ex. Si Dra. Corine ay ilusyonada), but it simply isn't an accepted title. The only reason why Doctora is in the vocabulary of the common Filipino is because it's a linguistic remnant from decades ago.

2. ANAK KO (Compre Perio, 2016).

Anak, in Filipino (and Bahasa Indonesia.. and Bahasa Melayu..), means child. It's really normal for older people to refer to youngsters as anak, but when patients add ko ("mine") at the end, as in anak ko, it's extra special.<3 

Then again, the whole anak and anak ko situation is probably no surprise since we tend to call our older patients Nanay or Tatay (mother/father, kind of like how Koreans call older people ahjumma or ahjussi). Oh wait, some patients, I call Tita or Tito (aunt/uncle)-- because frankly, I have too many nanay- and tatay-patients already. Hahaha.

3. GANDA (RPD + Compre Resto [plus her friends!], 2016).

Oh my Corine, I actually get referred to as "beautiful", would you believe that?!

Calling someone "ganda" is pretty much the equivalent of bella in "Ciao bella".

This started when my friend, Johanna, and I started accepting patients from the housekeeping staff at UPHSD. I don't really remember the actual specifics of how the lovely housekeeping ladies of the college rest room became our patients, but I remember exiting a lavatory stall, and my now-patient turned to her co-worker, and said, "Huy, andito si ganda o." (Hey, ganda's here).

Does being called ganda appeal to my vanity? Of course it does! When I get called ganda, I actually feel beautiful. I try to put a lid on my vanity, and not let it get in my head too much, but when somebody looks at you and sees a beautiful person, you can tell that they're looking at you the way God intended you to be looked at-- and when you keep that in mind, you just end up cheerful the whole day because.. Well, just because. :)

4. ATE (All patients who are younger than me, forever).

Ate means older sister, but in Filipino, it can be used to any older female. In Chinese, this is Ah Jie. The Bahasa version for this is Kakak, except that Kakak is more gender-neutral. The male version for Ate is Kuya. Ate is what I get most commonly referred to as a clinician, and this is pretty much the vocalization of how many patients are confused as to what to call their clinicians. Please. I have a patient who is a Maritime Engineering student who calls me Ate even though he's 12 years older than me-- you can't beat that, really! 

In one of the tea sessions during IDEM in Singapore, Dr. Ray Williams of UNC said that when he meets patients, he goes like, "I'm Ray", rather than "I'm Dr. Ray", and it's so that the patient would be more open to telling the clinician what the problem is. I've been called Ate for so long, but never really realized that my patients really are open to me, until I heard Dr. Williams mention it. Being called Ate diminishes the "I'm the (student)-doctor here, and you're the patient." barrier. If barrier-diminishing isn't enough, I'm guessing that patients are more secure and open when they can tell that they have an Ate who truly cares. <3

5. MA'AM (Complete Denture, 2016).

Hahahaha. Okay, one of the most awkward things a patient has ever called me would definitely be Ma'am, especially since the patient who calls me that is a lot older than me. Hahahaha! 

Well, I've had patients studying Criminology or Maritime Engineering who have called me that once or twice, but I never took it really seriously with them, because they're pretty much trained to call people Ma'am and Sir on a regular basis, because of the "ranky" nature of the programs they're in, and it's most especially if they're ROTC-affiliated students, so when Crim or MARE students call me Ma'am, I often just dismiss it as a slips of the tongue here and there. 

Ma'am makes me cringe. It makes me feel like a boss (okay, considering #girlboss, it might not be so bad..), or a teacher, or maybe.. A married woman, yikes! My patients aren't my subordinates, I'm not their subordinates either. Ma'am is awkward. It just is.

6. BHE/ BEH/ BEBE (RPD + Compre Resto, 2016; Ex-Compre Perio, 2015).

So far, I've only had two patients call me Bhe (plus all its other spellings). It's almost a shortcut for bebe, which means baby, but because of how language just evolves, Bhe is starting to be an acceptable way to refer to your friends. It's almost like "girl" in "Hey girl, whatcha doin'?". I'm coming to terms with accepting Bhe as the "older person talking to a younger person" version of Ate. --and yes, Bhe is warming up to me.:)

..but if a male would ever dare to call me Bhe, then it would be a problem.

7. NENG, or any variants of (ex-Endo, 2015).

Let me tell you something-- There is nothing that can easily mess up my relationship with a patient faster than being called Neng, Ne, Ineng, or any other word that is used to refer to a pre-pubescent girl. Neng is something you'd call a little girl. I can't think of any other word in American English that could compare, but the closest would probably be Ah girl in Singlish.

When I get called Neng, I feel that I'm seen as a little girl who wants to hurry home and go play with her dolls. Although I appreciate the tiny injection of youthfulness that comes with being called Neng, it's simply not appropriate anymore, as I'm a twentysomething woman, and the patient who first called me that is a middle-aged male. Don't even get me started on how inappropriate it is in the clinical set-up. Hahaha.


Errrr.. That's it?

How CD-Father Got Rid of the CD-Hater.

"I hate prostho." Can anybody tell me how many times I have verbalized these immortal words? Too many times, I feel. Well, I'm writing this to tell the world (more like, my three readers, hahaha) that I AM A CHANGED WOMAN. I don't hate Complete Denture Prosthodontics anymore.:)

I don't even know where my CD-hatred (and general Prosthodontics-hatred, to be frank) came from-- because when I was in second year, I performed relatively well in both RPD and CD. Let's not talk about FPD, because I failed that subject on the first try. Most people hate certain dental disciplines because of traumatic experiences, difficulty, or general disinterest, but me? I think the reason why I hated it was because I didn't understand it very well, and was probably too arrogant to admit it to myself.

Let's just say that life is really generous at giving chances.

I decided to discuss my CD3 yesterday. I had originally wanted to discuss with the Chief of Clinics, Dr. Esporlas, but because everybody wanted to discuss with him, and that all slots were pretty much full, I decided to ask the Dean, Dr. Alforja. He said yes, yay!

Confession Room

I'd rather not go into detail about all the things I've learned, because frankly, I learned so much, that I don't even know where to start anymore!:) Frankly, if I were to enumerate each and every little thing, this blog post would seriously look like a lecture.

I could go on and on about Complete Denture, but maybe, the biggest takeaway I have for you is that when you hate a certain discipline, whether it would be in Dentistry, or wherever, you just need to find yourself a good teacher, who genuinely loves the subject matter. Sometimes, just sometimes, their love is enough to cancel out your hatred, and then you end up liking something you've never expected to even be genuinely interested in. --and yes, that's exactly how Dr. Alforja got rid of the Complete Denture hater.:)

I have a tip for everyone, and it's actually a really point-blank in-your-face tip: DO NOT BE AN ARROGANT ARSEHOLE. There are several ways for a dental clinician to display arrogance, but I think the most unproductive and self-destructive type of arrogance is when you declare hatred for a certain subject simply because it cannot accommodate your impatience to actually understand it. Yes, take it from me. Take it from the human who dodged Prosthodontics for so many semesters, therefore ending up retained (and retained.. and retained..) in the clinics. If I had caught my Prostho-arrogance earlier on, I would have performed a very thorough self-examination starting with the question, Do I really hate Complete Denture, or do I just not understand it well enough? 

I also know that it's a little bit too late to say this, but in retrospect, I think I should have done better when I was taking Complete Denture as a pre-clinical class at my old school. Mind you, I did pretty well on that class, but apart from all the things I had passively memorized that somehow disappeared the moment I passed it, I really have nothing to show for it. See? It really doesn't matter if you've passed a class if you can't really apply the things you've learned in a more practical sense. If I could back time, I would have milked the class as much as I could, because the truth is, lapses in learning and missed opportunities catch up with you. I'm lucky that I have Dr. Alforja and Dr. Esporlas to help fill in my lapses, but not everyone is as lucky as I am.

I still have a long way to go before actually being 100% confident with Complete Denture, but I'm a little bit more confident now, than I was before the discussion. I still have so much to learn, but you know what-- I'm actually happy, knowing that I still have so much to learn. I feel that when you recognize your need to learn more things, you're on the right to actually learning more things. It's an indication of actual interest. A few days ago, I wasn't interested at all, but now, all I want is to be pals with Complete Denture. :)

Oh wait, I have a really interesting story to share with you!

Remember how I told you that everyone wanted to discuss with Dr. Esporlas? Well, unknown to my Clinic 1 sisters, Dr. Esporlas was cooking up a secret plan. I only learned about this from my sizzums, but apparently, Dr. Esporlas led them to the Confession Room, and told them that he'd be there shortly, and then all of a sudden, it was actually Dr. Alforja who came in. They thought that the Dean was just passing by, or that he was just pranking them.

Me, Dr. Esporlas, and the Clinic 1 sizzums <3

It wasn't what my sissies bargained for-- they got a whole lot more :)

STRESS.

This week hasn't exactly been the best. While I did have a great start by doing an odontectomy last Monday, the rest of the week has been physically and emotionally (but mostly physically) demanding. I shouldn't be stressing too much over it, because it is the time of the month, and pre-existing medical conditions pretty much send my hormone-associated symptoms on overdrive. I've just been really tired this week, and my oh my. My.

It's been starting to rain here and there. Philippine monsoons typically start in May or June, but this year, it's a little bit late. Considering the fact that it's pretty much wrecking our school schedules, I think we're still blessed as a nation, in general, because at least nothing too horrible has stricken (yet). When typhoons come, classes usually get suspended, and when that happens, school kids everywhere (except maybe dental clinicians) are happy when school gets cancelled, but now that I'm older, I think I've realized how wrong that kind of mentality is, especially when you think about old people who have to use public transportation in the pouring rain.

--and that's exactly why my patient didn't make it today.

Hmm.

School was cancelled at around 12:00NN. My original schedule involved performing intraoral photography on my Complete Denture patient, but since she couldn't make it, I decided to proceed to Plan B, which was actually doing research work. The Chief of Clinics pretty much stopped me, and told me to work on my non-patient procedures, which I happily obliged to.:) I realized that everything works out after all, and I couldn't be happier. I realized that I need to work more on my amalgam polishing skills. I polished three amalgam restorations today, and my clinical instructor only liked one. So yes, I do need to work harder!:)

While I have been able to accomplish most of my goals since the semester started, I'm still a bit sad that I haven't been able to accomplish them all. I know that there are some things that are beyond my control, such as inclement weather, and just yesterday, electric issues at school, but I don't know.. I'm under so much pressure, and whether or not that pressure is self-manufactured, I can't really tell anymore.

Electric issues at school.:(
--and yes, my parents were pretty upset when I told them about it.

This week has been generally stressful, but yesterday was the worst. I don't mean to rant, but the matriculation increased by Php10,000 (which is a lot by Philippine standard of living), and yet something like this happened. I won't even go into the fact that the ceiling was dripping today when it rained. Oh wait, I just did. I love my university, I love my teachers, I love all the things I'm learning-- but why won't the school love me back?:(

My feelings are pretty much on haywire because of my hormone issues, and at this point, it's really difficult to keep myself optimistic. The physical and emotional stress has just been tiring me out.

summary of all my feelings this week

I've been spending more time playing with our dogs this week. On a normal school week, I would have just said quick hellos and whatnot, but this week, I felt like I needed to really hug them as some form or de-stressing. Well, what can I say? Our dogs are amazing.<3

JJ and Me <3

I have a better photo with JJ on Instagram. I took this when I got home from my blacked-out university yesterday. I took a whole series of shots, and only a few of them turned out nicely because we both kept moving.:) Such a sweet dog, this JJ. 

We actually have two dogs, but the other one wasn't really in the mood to play yesterday, so he didn't get to take pictures with me and JJ by the pool.

Oh, I got new specs yesterday. I'm actually supposed to be a glasses-wearer, but with every pair of glasses, there'd always be something unsatisfactory about it.. Frames would break, or the lenses wouldn't work for me for very long. My last refraction was more than a year ago, and when the optometrist I went to yesterday checked me again, she noticed that the reading for my right eye was completely off from my previous prescription. It's okay though, because this new prescription is perfect.

Snoe and Me!

It took me a while to actually select which frame I wanted. I would have gone for a half-rimmed frame, but since my left lens was so thin, it wouldn't have been the best option for me, because then the lens would easily break-- and there's no way I'd be okay with breaking a multicoated lens. 

Oh, fun fact, by the way-- when I was starting to enrol for college at CEU, I chose Dentistry as my first choice program, and Optometry second, but that was almost completely random, I could have written Optometry first and Dentistry second. If I had gone into Optometry, I still would have been just as happy about it.. but of course, if I had gone into Optometry, I wouldn't be the same person. Believe me.

I'm just happy that this week has ended. I intend to rest really well this weekend.:)

MAKE-UP for When You Feel Like a Haggard Mess.

The first few days of school are always the hardest. I'm not exactly talking about the academic side of things, because at this point of the semester, syllabi are geared towards introductions more than actual hard stuff. I say that the first few days of school are like this because it's usually at this point in time wherein we have to train ourselves to get used to new routines, new policies, new schedules and other stuff.

I'm really okay with change. The adjustment part is just a little bit tricky.

Speaking of change, I'm trying my best to start my day earlier. I'm really not a morning person, so yes, this is a challenge. I also haven't been sleeping very well since school started, for reasons that I really don't know. It's only been like, what, four days(?), but the sleeping hours reduction has been taking its toll on my body, in a sense that my digestion hasn't been at its best, my brain has been feeling foggy, my skin has been horrible, and I'm not as emotionally resilient as I should be, especially when my patients can't make their appointments. I FEEL LIKE A ZOMBIE, REALLY.

You know how they say that beauty should come from the inside? Well, is there anything really wrong with fixing up the outside, when the inside is a haggard mess?

I used to do my make-up before leaving the house, but now, since I'm trying to get to school as early as I can, I've been foregoing make-up, and just leave it for when I have free time (at school). The thing is, I put make-up on to feel better about myself, especially when I need a little bit of internal cheering up-- and yes, today was one of those days.

My patient wasn't able to make it, because something came up. I didn't book a patient for the afternoon, and with my morning suddenly freeing up, I really didn't have anything to do.

I've been developing these really ugly eye bags. This isn't the first time I've had fewer-than-normal hours of sleep, but it is one of the first few times that I've actually had legit eye bags, in spite of my eyes puffing up every now and then. Now, I actually have the bags.

NEW RULE-- Look like be a haggard mess all you want,
but never stop looking for reasons to smile.

The worst part is that the bags are more obvious when I smile. Goodness.

I know you've seen these products time and time again, but the reason why I reach for these over and over is that they're really good. The products here are geared more towards skin care than actual beautifying. In this look, it's more about looking more awake, while nourishing the skin with all the good stuff.

very basic, really.

At this point, I'm really trying not to overload my face.

The real hero of my make-up is the NYX Full Coverage Concealer in the shade Yellow. Yes, really yellow. Yellow, because usually eye bags exhibit blue to purple pigmentation, and by virtue of the color wheel, yellow would neutralize the purple eye bags.

I look.. Traumatized.

I've never looked back since I've started applying under-eye concealer in an inverted triangle. It really beats applying it in curved streaks, or even dots. You can't really see the inverted triangle on my skin because the concealer color blends too much into the natural color my skin, but if you look closely over to where my purple eyebags should be, they actually look a little bit better.

--but obviously, you need to set it.

"ready to face the world", yo.

Make-up is such an awesome thing. It's not always about concealing what you really look like, and creating false beauty. Make-up enhances. It's, like, covering up the ugly that distracts from what's naturally beautiful. I started the day looking like a haggard mess, feeling really down about my patient not being able to make it, and after "putting my face on", and finally seeing the girl whom I actually like, I felt so much better. I felt amazing, and yes, feeling amazing just made the rest of my day fall into place. Positivity does wonders, I'm telling you.

Lots of love,

Corine Magenta

Oh wait, if you're wondering about my clinic day, considering that the patient I had scheduled for the day cancelled on the last minute-- I still didn't get my original patient to come, but I did find a new one.. A single CD + RPD patient. See? Everything works out.:)

Lots of love,

Clinician Corine Magenta

DAY TWO: Legit Final Year.

It's officially DAY TWO of my legit final year in Dentistry school. I've been in "4th year" on paper for quite some time, but this is actually the first time in a really long time that my clinic level is actually in sync with my actual year level!:) No longer am I "half-3rd year, half-4th year", this time, it's actually legit.:)

I haven't been blogging (here, at least!) for a few days now, and it's because my laptop charger broke down, and since Blogger doesn't have a mobile app, I only blog here when I'm on the computer. I wrote a little about it, and you can read it here!:)

I've been trying to keep myself busy by spending more time with patients, or if not, studying for case discussions. I never really was a stick to a schedule kind of person, so actually following through with plans is fairly new to me. I've kept planners in the past, and still keep one, but what I've noticed is that I allow unaccomplished plans drag everything else down. My goodness, that has got to stop.

my week, so far!

I've started writing on my planner in pencil. By writing in pencil, I could just easily erase whatever plans I'd have to move around. Seeing plans written in pens x-ed out is just depressing, easy erasing just keeps the positive vibes going on. Of course, I'm a legit senior now. I could use every bit of positivity I can give to myself.<3

..

I spent the first session of the day with my Comprehensive Perio patient. We had a little talk about inflammation. I decided to forego prophy today, because I had to re-orient myself first with the new Compre Perio protocol of the clinical division. Aside from that, I've also been feeling the need to modify the treatment plan to include a splint. I still have to consult with the new Perio professor (aka. Perio Dad).

props

My original treatment plan was an ideal one, but sometimes, problems just come seemingly out of nowhere. Conditions initially improve, and then they go the other way. I'm a little bit sad that I have to alter my treatment plan at this stage. I can't help but have these Am I not a good diagnostician? Am I not good, period? Why didn't I see this at the beginning? feelings, but I'm learning, so I probably shouldn't beat myself up about it. The patient's well-being is more important than my ego after all, so that's enough for me to see my treatment plan modification in a positive light.:)

..oh and my patient gave me a donut.<3

THE BATHROOM SITUATION AT MY SCHOOL HAS BECOME RIDICULOUS. 

It's the first year of the government's K-12 initiative, and my university has complied. UPHSD caters to students from pre-school to doctorate levels, and since our university is so tiny, we pretty much share the same space most of the time. Since K-12 has a provision for Senior High, the university had to make space for the new kids. I know it's really shallow to be ranting about this, but I find it really crazy that the university admitted hundreds of new students, but didn't add any new bathrooms. 

Me, at the bathroom near the male-dominated college.
NOBODY ELSE IN THERE!!!!

I know this is too much information, but I peed about eight times today, and only once was I able to successfully pee at the bathroom closest to the College of Dentistry. All the other seven times, I had to go up to a different college's building, or I had to use the bathroom at the auditorium (still another building away). THE BATHROOM IS ALWAYS FULL, AND IT'S CRAZY! I know that we have to be patient with the younger students, but I really don't understand why they use the bathroom as a social hall of some sort. I know that the bathroom is air-conditioned and all, but why would anyone want to stay in a room where people pee?

Hmm.. Okay, what else about my day?

Oh yeah, LUNCH!

You see, I had to buy a new laptop charger yesterday, and I spent so much of my money, and it threw my weekly budget way off. I'm not going to tell everyone how much (more like, how little) money I have in my wallet, but I feel that if I do, people would start asking me if I'm okay.

Well, I actually am okay! My maid packed a nice lunch for me-- paella and carrot cake.

don't worry about the hair on the photo, it was on the table, under the plastic container

I'd say that my home-cooked lunch is the sole positive thing I've gotten from my broke-ness. Well, aside from my new charger. My maid is an awesome cook. Enough said.:)

Oh, I also finally have a Comprehensive Restorative Case patient! I waited really long for one. At one point, I even declared that I felt that the reason why God hasn't given me one yet at that time was that I may have not been ready for it. I have one now, so yay!

"when much is given, much is expected."

Now I have to study, really really, really hard for my case discussion. Like I said, I waited really long to have a Compre Resto patient, that's why I fully intend to give my best preparing for it, and carrying out the treatment. I read Chapter 3 of Cawson's, which is actually a pathology book. I know I probably should have read a restorative dentistry book instead of a patho book, but I wanted to give myself a really good foundation for the treatment that I would (really soon!!!) carry out. 

If I say that I have it in the bag, or that I know the matter by heart, I'd totally be lying. I learned a few new things here and there, so yay, I feel like a winner already.

I wish all days would be like this (but more with more patients, hehe). I have to prepare myself for horrible days, but I need to arm myself with enough optimism to make even the horrible days better. Life is what we make it after all, right?

YEAH.

Corine Magenta.